When I came to college, I had no plans to go through sorority recruitment. I had literally no experience with sororities or sorority girls, and it seemed to me that being in a sorority was my very worst nightmare: something pink and fluffy that politely ate girls like me alive with a smile on its perfectly painted face.
But despite my persistent apprehension, I decided that maybe it was a good idea to give sorority life a chance. I signed up for recruitment, and I waited nervously for the week to arrive.
And arrive it did. And when it did, so many things happened.
1. I tried on every piece of clothing I owned.
My room looked like an absolute disaster area. I was so nervous about making a good first impression that I completely forgot everything I knew about fashion. Eventually, I found the perfect things to wear each night, but it was not without more than a few absolute fails.
2. I asked my roommate how I looked approximately 38 times per day.
Instead of trusting my own instincts and what I saw in the mirror, I demanded that my roommate witness a mini fashion show until she reminded me that she too needed to get ready for recruitment. At which point I returned to my closet and put my original outfit back on.
3. People sang at me. And clapped. And it was weird.
And to me, it felt more like this:
And to be honest, I almost turned around and left when I got to the first house. I was looking around and all I saw was women smiling so wide that I thought their faces were about to split. It was at that moment that I wondered if I was right about sororities. I couldn't imagine myself being that happy about wearing heels and talking to complete strangers for half an hour. But I pushed my fears aside and smiled, trying not to look scared.
4. All the girls I talked to knew my name. And my GPA. And what color underwear I was wearing. And my social security number.
What I didn't know was that they were just as excited to learn more about me as I was nervous that they were going to steal my identity. Which was also weird and a little off-putting.
5. I was awkward. A lot.
And to my great surprise, so were the girls I talked to. They weren't these perfect robot beings that were socially flawless and impeccably toned. I realized that they were college girls just like me, and that they were hoping I would like them just as much as I was hoping they would like me.
6. I worried I would forget everything.
From the names of the girls I talked with, to the philanthropies and what time I was supposed to come back the next day, I had no room left in my brain for anything. What if I talk to that girl again and I don't remember her name and the name of her dog and Chipotle order? What if there's a pop quiz and if I don't pass I won't get a bid? What if someone asks me my name and I just completely draw a blank?
7. I got nervous and wondered how it was possible that I would ever get the bid I wanted, ever.
The longer I thought about it, the more convinced I became that there was no possible way that the house I wanted would want me back. I stressed over ranking, I stressed over matching, and I stressed over whether or not the girls I talked to liked me. Or even remembered me for that matter.
8. Shortly after, I surprised myself by realizing that worrying meant that I wanted a bid.
How weird is that? I went from being the girl who was creeped out by all the people singing, to hoping that I would be running home to those same women the following day.
9. I didn't sleep.
Every night, we got out late. But even so, I could've gone straight to bed. But no, because I couldn't sleep. I would just lie there and worry about how I'd done. And about getting a bid. And about not making a fool of myself the next day.
10. I got a bid. And so much more.
I waited not so patiently with every other nervous girl in the auditorium, and (of course) I was one of the last girls to get called. And I got the bid I wanted. And I ran home. And it was absolutely flawless.
Because what I didn't realize when I signed up for recruitment was that I didn't just join an organization. I joined a family. I was blessed with a group of beautiful and talented sisters who supported me and held me through the most difficult times in my college career. I may not have realized this the day I got my bid, but I forged friendships with some of the most incredible and inspirational women I have ever met, and I continued paving a road that held a proud tradition and a steadfast love that will last forever and always. These women have shaped me into a better person, and from the moment I knew I was one of them, I wore my letters with the utmost pride. Because I get to represent all of the amazing women that I have come to believe in almost as much as they have taught me to believe in myself. I never could have understood the happiness I would find or the connectedness I would feel before I ran home that day.
And I never could've asked for anything more wonderful.