Some of us have the incredibly delight of not only having one family, the one we are born into, but also a family that chose us (kind of). In my case I am incredibly thankful for my second family. A family that I can go to their house and feel at home, a place where I can laugh, sleep, learn, and cry (maybe). Sometimes in life you find that friend that means the world to you, that friend that you can fight with but deep down you both know you are inseparable. This creates a bond with their family that could never go away. This group of people becomes your lovely, adventurous, challenging, welcoming, second family.
1. Their parents become “mom and dad”
Also grandma, grampy, auntie, uncle...etc. You become so close to their family that you realize that you know longer call their family by their first names, instead by the family they are to you.
2. Their siblings become your siblings
When you don’t have a brother but you consider their brother yours, so sometimes you slip and tell someone, “my brother has a game, I can’t.” or you don’t have a nephew but you say, “Oh I have to go see my nephew!” and everyone is confused. They just haven’t caught on yet.
3. You regularly join their family on trips or regular daily chores.
You may join on a weekend camping trip, or just go grocery shopping with them. But these are normal experiences and no one second guesses the extrachild, because you are always there.
4. You walk into their house without knocking and welcome yourself to a spot on the couch
There is no need to knock when you show up, and you may even be scolded for knocking. You just walk in, take your shoes off, and take a seat. In some cases, your best friend may not even be there, but you are still welcome. You may be able to walk into drop things off, but you end up talking to someone in the family.
5. Their animals become happy to see you
Although some of you may say, “well all animals are happy to see people!” In this case I mean their animals know you, they love you, and are always willing to cuddle and listen.
6. Their family asks where you are if you aren’t around for a couple days
Or even if you miss a family get together. It may be for Christmas or a Birthday, or even just a regular Thursday, but they are most likely going to ask, “Where is ____?” and the answer may be, “Guys you know she doesn’t live here right?”
7. You help yourself to food and drinks while you are at their house.
You are no longer treated as a guest and you are expected to eat what is made for dinner, and to serve yourself. Also if you are hungry for a snack or thirsty, instead of asking for a snack you just get up and go get your snack. You also know what is off limits to your consumption.
8. When their family drama becomes your family drama. You care just as much about their family as they do.
When something happens in their family it also affect you because you care so much about their family as well. This could both be a bad thing and a good thing, but in the long run I think it is a good thing. This brings the two of you even closer and gives them a person to confide in if necessary.
9. You text their parents and siblings regularly
It may just be a text to see if they are home so you can bring something to their house or pick it up, it may be a happy birthday or a happy Mother’s/Father’s day, or even plans made as a family. These texts may be just random questions or check ins but they are without a doubt sent without worry.
10. Their parents are always there for advice or a laugh whenever you need it.
Even though this second family may mean that you have just that many more eyes watching your decisions, pushing you to do well, and to scold you when you make the wrong decisions. It also means you have more people to get help from, to get advice from, and to laugh and have memories with. I couldn’t thank my second family more for the memories they have helped me create.
