1. Why do you wear yoga pants if you don't do yoga?
If yoga pants are comfortable enough to do yoga in, they are also comfortable enough to go to class in, eat in, hang out with friends in, shop in, sleep in, get married in, spend your happily ever after in, and eventually die in. Plus, they make our butts look good.
2. Ben and Jerry's is fattening.
You may have a point. However, we do not want to hear it.
3. That Taylor Swift song is not that catchy.
Well then why don't you tell me why our entire generation has been mumbling it for the past three weeks?
4. Why do you wear XL tshirts when you're an XS?
Because, friends, this is the only time in our lives when wearing something that resembles a neon potato sack is at all socially acceptable. And if it's okay with you, we'd like to keep that tradition alive as long as possible.
5. Salads have too many calories.
Listen up. Salads are our go-to when we need to feel healthy but also want to semi-enjoy what we're eating. If we wanted to hate ourselves, we would be eating rabbit kibbles and kale. Or we could just stand on a scale.
6. You can't dance.
That's true. But luckily we're not dancing for your pleasure. We're dancing for our own.
7. Pedicures are a waste of money.
How can something simultaneously make us feel so relaxed and so confident? It's a question I probably won't spend the rest of my life trying to answer, but what I do know, is that you can't put a price tag on it.
8. Target is overrated.
False. That statement is blasphemy and should not be spoken of again.
9. You have no booty.
Well, some of us surprisingly have some booty. Most don't. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why most of us are obsessed with squats.
10. Rough night last night?
Okay, people. Maybe we just decided not to wear makeup. Maybe we simultaneously drink obscene amounts of coffee, water, and Gatorade every morning. Maybe our headaches originated of natural causes. Or maybe I did have a rough night, but that don't mean you gotta comment on it.
