I’m going to be honest when I say I’m boy-crazy.
From the beginning of elementary school when my kindergarten boyfriend held my hand to every one-night f*ck up I got from every f*ckboy in Syracuse, I’ve been a true romantic. I’m all for romantic comedies when there’s a movie night.
If I meet a guy, I ask for his astrology sign, wondering if we have even the slightest chance of love compatibility. Even after the hardest heartbreak, I still have hope that I’ll find the perfect man for me one day. However, there’s a line between hopefulness and obsessiveness.
After several one-night stands, summer flings, and boyfriends, I’ve nearly mastered at catching the point in which girls tend to become obsessive over boys, and not in a cute way.
1. Your social media revolves around him
Have you ever caught yourself editing a photo for Insta specifically for one guy? Have you ever consistently checked your current Snapchat story to make sure he’s keeping an eye on you? If yes, maybe it’s time to step back from your phone and find out what’s coming out of all of this.
His pleasure? His acceptance?
Your insta profile is supposed to define you, not take control of your life. Post what you want, post when you want. Trust me when I say guys don’t give one slightest care on social media. They only go on their phones during commercial breaks of the NBA finals or when they literally have no other commitment to uphold.
2. You slow down your car to check out a guy
I caught myself driving down a busy street, going the speed limit, perfectly content with my day when I spotted a fine specimen crossing the street. I found my foot taking a hold of me and hitting the brakes.
The cars behind me honked, my friend nearly flew out the windshield, the many Mike’s Hard in my backseat almost broke. When I finally got a good look at him, he was a solid twelve years old. This was one of the many signals that I need to cut it out. If you’re risking lives alcohol for a boy, he’s really not worth it.
3. You go to the gym only to get hot and bothered
I bought my gym membership as soon as I got home for college. I vowed to myself that I’ll go every day and I’ll lose at least 10 pounds by fall semester. Little did I know that the gym was the hotspot for every fuck boy in Westchester.
I think there was one week where I was considering going to the gym twice a day, to not only catch the hot guys who go in the morning but at night as well. It’s fine to go to the gym to get motivated by all the dick around you, but if you’re revolving your day around it? It’s time to move on.
4. You revolve your day around a booty call
Every single girl during the summer loves a complimentary booty call at 11 at night. But if you’re making plans around a booty call? Move the f*ck on. Calm the f*ck down. Booty calls are meant to be received unexpectedly. Don’t make plans to f*ck a f*ck boy hours beforehand. And don’t even think about canceling plans with your friends because turns out, you have to f*ck a boy who frankly doesn’t give a shit about you.
5. You miss college only because of your chances of getting laid
Yes, I miss college. Yes, I miss having a life. But I don’t miss the countless one-night stands where guys didn’t call me back. And I don’t miss having so many boys around me all at once. Just kidding, I miss boys, so much.
I love college, from every frat party to every L I took my freshman year. But I also miss college because I miss my friends, my roommate, my freedom from my parents. If the only thing you got out of last semester were something consisting of boys? It’s time to appreciate college for so many other things, and not just boys who are only looking for girls to f*ck and never look back on.
6. You start thinking of your friend’s boyfriend as a potential lover
OK sure he’s cute. But he’s off limits (or at least until he f*cks you over). C’mon, girl code. Get your shit together.
7. You catch yourself looking at your snapchat memories of boys who’ve f*cked you over
He’s not in your life for a reason. It wasn’t meant to be. Delete those asses off your snapchat. They’re not worth the time of day. With your head in your phone, you could be missing guys who are actually genuinely interested in you in reality.
8. The only thing you talk about with your friends is about boys
Girls love to gossip. But what we love to talk about even more are boys. But if boys are your only subject of conversation? Hate to admit it, but they’re controlling you. Do you want to know how often guys think about girls? Maybe 10 seconds per day, 10 minutes if they’re obsessed. Boys do not control you. You’re your own person, enjoy your time with your friends. It’s okay to talk about them, but don’t make them ruin your girl’s date with your friend.
9. Your friends have an intervention with you
Yes, this happened to me a couple of days ago. And yes, it was because they told me I should calm down with boys. I think i’ve had 5 dates booty calls with boys in the past 2 weeks? It’s time to stop looking at boys as a competition. It’s not about who gets married first, who finds love first, it’s about being happy.
10. They’re controlling your happiness
If some guy who didn’t call you back is ruining your night, turn it around. Get your head out of the mud and look at what life has to offer. At a point, guys aren’t worth the time of day. Live your life for you, not for some guy’s acceptance and admiration.
If you get too stuck in the clouds with fuck boys, you’ll lose yourself. You’ll find yourself picking outfits for a guy’s pleasure, changing your appearance for someone that’s not yourself. Yes, it’s great to find love.
But if the guy is turning you inside out and upside down for him? Not worth it honey. Stay true to you, Queen B.
