Bros.
Let's face it: No relationship is perfect. All us guys seem to have the same girl problems. Don't worry though - I'm putting the scope on 10 probable causes of relationship turbulence and giving you the solution.
1. Your social alcoholism
"I'm just trying to have a good time!" Who knows, really. It's always just one of those topics where we aren't even sure ourselves if we drink too much. Seemingly harmless though, right? Sorry, bro, to her it can be a total socio-political catastrophe.
How to avoid: Location. Location. LOCATION. If your cognitive, motor, and speech skills are comparable to a carrot at her formal- discontinue the use of alcohol, immediately. RULE OF THUMB: Never get drunker than her at sorority event.
2. How you always want to hang out with your "bros"
One of the most touchy subjects in bro-ville. At first, she'll be afraid of confronting you about your MWF night brew nights with your boys or your competitive binge weekends with your hometown friends. Eventually, the topic will just pop out. "Why can't I come tonight?" "Can we go to dinner, instead?" "Ya'll do that every night." It's not our fault. Some of us just grew accustomed to the strapping luxuries of being a collegiate bachelor. Now that those days are over it's time to make room for your girl. This isn't advice, it's a prescription.
How to avoid: You need to have two types of days with her, frequently. I'd say a dinner and a movie day for that comforting "I want you to myself, baby" hollywood romantic aspect and a social day. A social day? Yes. A social day. Girls just want to feel invited into your life. You need to have nights out with her AND your friends. Bringing a girl into your friend group is a must.
3. Our lady friends
How can we forget about Lindsey, your old high school girl friend who just happened to come to the same college as you? What about Sarah? That gorgeous girl you took to semi-formal freshmen year. Girls can be some of the best friends a guy can ask for. "There's no way my girlfriend wouldn't understand hanging with them here and there!" This, gentlemen, is where you're absolutely wrong. Your girlfriend isn't crazy and the situation is definitely not hopeless, but she's going through an instinctual battle between jealousy and pretending not to care. The results can land anywhere, but if the spin wheel lands on jealousy... you're driving through some thick mud.
How to avoid: You don't want to lose friends, period. Yet how do you respect your girlfriend's feelings enough to help push those insecurities away? Try and hangout with your lady friends in a group setting. Sometimes that's tough especially if she's basically your sister, but one-on-ones will definitely help. On the other hand, if she's your lady friend she could also probably end up being your girlfriend's "bff" if you help create the opportunity - which usually helps a jealousy situation out, dramatically.
4. You completely forgot to text her back, didn't you...
"What? It was literally just 11am - how did I put my day on cruise control on total accident?" Now it's almost dinnertime. You haven't texted back your worried sick mother (who obviously thinks you're dead), your three brothers who wanted to grab happy hour with you (shame, a cold one would have been good, today), and now you have 3 missed texts from "bae" all of which consist of question marks and emojis you didn't even know existed.
How to avoid: AS MUCH as I hate to say this... some people are just naturally terrible texters. Some wires just didn't cross right and it's a wonder that said individuals even own a phone at all. It doesn't just reside with dudes, but when we do derail a texting conversation because our testosterone-induced ADD swerved us away from our phones for a couple hours, it can make us seem like we "just. don't. care." So if there is a personality barrier that causes you to be a dreadful texter, the best thing to do for your girl is to have a usual check-in time. Something you just personally get used to so that it just becomes natural. A "just checking in" around a mutual time makes a girl feel special and comforted because they just love knowing what you're up to. Hey it's better than getting a GPS chip in your neck.
5. How most planned binge nights hit the fan
It absolutely blows my mind when couples drunk fight. Yet it happens all the time. Somewhere in every college town tonight there will be inebriated couples machine gunning verbal ammunition across a bar. To guys, drinking is a way to relax and roll on out the fun. To girlfriends, drinking is a time to bond, talk, and make some memories before the graduation caps come out. In theory they sound pretty similar, right? The thing is while you are out with your girlfriend, you have to understand that every drink she puts down is a cup of emotional gunpowder.
How to avoid: You can tell when your girlfriend is having an off day, right? You can use those same spidey senses to try and predict what kind of drunk she's going to be. As the night starts to unroll you need to sort of get into the swing of things. Don't push a joke too far. Be a gentleman; if she starts to bring up what you did September 9th 2013 at 11:32 pm, it's your job to save the night and bring her out of her ocean of emotions. Use that charm - words are all it takes to bring your girl back to her happy natural self. If she continues trying to fight, let it go. Don't add fuel to the fire and try your best to not start anything.
6. You didn't take care of her
She drank too much. It's bad. She's already lost all her friends somewhere at the party... it's time to go home. You gather the lady troops, get them all back safely. "It's a triumphant success," you think to yourself as you're tucking the girlfriend's favorite blanket over her while she half-consciously rests her head over the toilet bowl. Mission accomplished! You can completely go back out with your brothers. She can take care of herself, right? Wrong. Absolutely Wrong.
How to avoid: For the love of all that's good in this world. If she's sick - whether the illness is liver-induced (those raz-ber-ritas, man) or the flu (except for Ebola... run away) - you HAVE to take care of her. It's a gentlemanly action and proves that she can rely on you.
7. She needs more time to get ready
I really don't need to paint a scenario for this one.
How to avoid: Never hurry her. If you're late, you're late. Stressing a girlfriend out while she's putting make-up on is essentially like trying to hurry a cardiothoracic surgeon mid-procedure. There's a science to it and it just takes time.
8. You said you were going to do something but you didn't do it
Remember that one time you took that Intro to Business class and we learned that a contract is a tangible, legible, and a consensual document? Take that lesson and throw it into an imaginary paper shredder. Here's a new term: "Girlfriend Contracts" are almost but not always verbal and may or may not be totally consensual or even totally understood by the male party.
How to avoid: If you tell her you're going to do something, DO IT. If she tells you to do something and you give even theslightest nod or any kind of audible verbal agreement (e.g. yeah, sure, okay, I guess, maybe, etc.), that's a contract. Do it.
9. Where are we eating...
We honestly just don't care sometimes, but in the slightest chance that we do, girlfriends always are thinking of another restaurant. Unfortunately, of course, there are those days when we have a beer pocket book and she has champagne taste. All of this just creates light-hearted battle of coronary opinions. It's not anything serious, but this conversational back and fourth happens very often.
How to avoid: Become a millionaire and starve yourself so you'd be hungry enough to eat anything. Totally kidding. Compromise and understanding; it comes from both ends of the table.
10. Porn
Oh lord. We were so young when it all started. It happened on accident for some. Others took Google's hand and frolicked into puberty. Either way, we had no idea one day it would turn into one of the most uncomfortable inter-relationship conversations of our lives.
How to avoid: You're on your own, bro. Good luck.
