1. "But you don't look like a lesbian."
No, I don't.
I look like a human being!
What did you expect anyway? I can only wear flannel so many times a week...
2. "Can I join?"
Wow, cisgender heterosexual man, you're so original!
I've never, ever heard that one before.
3. "You just haven't found the right guy."
And I never will because...
4. "So, like, how do you have sex?"
This one is always super amusing.
If you think there's only one way to have sex, I feel sorry for your partner.
Wait for the revelation. It'll be:
5. "Prove it."
Yeah, right.
6. "Which one of you is the man?"
Honestly, I never understood why people ask this question.
The entire point of being in a lesbian relationship is that there is no man.
That's what makes us lesbians!
7. "I bet I could change that."
Stop.
I don't want to hear another word out of you.
8. "Why do you hate men?"
We don't.
We love men.
Just not the ones who make comments similar to yours!
9. "That's hot."
Nobody asked for your opinion.
And by the way:
10. "My cousin/friend/best friend's friend/acquaintance is a lesbian too! You guys should totally date!"
But I think I'll pass.
I know like, 300 straight people, though, so maybe you should date one of them!