If you're reading this article, I have turned 20. Yes, I've officially made it out of my teen years, pretty much in one piece. In honor of leaving those years behind for my 20s, I decided to take a look back on what I've learned in my teens and share these pieces of advice with you.
1. These don't have to be the "best years of your life." But they also don't have to be the worst.
I can't even begin to count the number of times I was told, "Your teenage years are the best years of your life!" For me, I'd be happy to say that some of them absolutely were the best. Others, though, would be pretty disappointing baselines for what constitutes as the best. So, make the most of each and every day, but don't feel like you're doing something wrong if you have a bad day, week, month, or even year. It's okay.
2. Work hard. Play hard.
Some people spend their teen years partying, only to wake up to their 20s and find themselves with no plan for the future. Others spend their time working tirelessly and realize that they missed out on a lot of great moments. Try to find a balance between the two. You can't completely blow off all of your responsibilities in favor of having a good time, but it's also okay to let loose every once in a while and enjoy yourself.
3. Find a career that you're passionate about pursuing.
This one can mean something different for everyone. For some, it means that it's okay not to know what you want to do right away; your interests can change and that's okay. Don't feel like you have to have every moment of the rest of your life planned out. For me, though, this learning process meant realizing being passionate about your career is more important than anything else. I can't even tell you how many people have tried to convince me that I shouldn't be a teacher because I'm "deciding now to be poor for the rest of my life." Well, yes, I know I won't ever make a ton of money teaching. But I do know that I've found my calling in that field, which is the most important.
4. Mistakes don't define you.
The fact that one mistake isn't the end of the world is something that I've really struggled with throughout my teen years (and clearly still into my 20s). I'm a huge perfectionist, so I absolutely hate when any little thing goes wrong. But, that's life and it's something I'm working on remembering every single day.
5. You are beautiful.
Not everyone fits into the mold of what society has deemed to be "beautiful." If you do, great. If you don't, also great. There's not one standard of beauty and sometimes it's not physical attributes that make you beautiful. If you're a caring, well-intended person, your personality itself is probably beautiful, which is arguably worth way more than physical attractiveness.
6. It's okay to be single.
I'm not currently in a relationship and sometimes I wish I was. But, I've realized that it's 100 percent okay to be single (and also 100 okay to be in a healthy, happy relationship.) There's nothing wrong with taking your best friend as your date to formal or enjoying a night out with your friends. Plus, the freedom of being single means you can go out and have fun without worrying about what your significant other might think.
7. Find a cause you care about and throw yourself into supporting it.
Volunteering my time was a huge part of my teen years and will continue to be a part of my life into my 20s and beyond. Some of my best memories came from helping causes that I care about and I can honestly say that there are few experiences that could compare or be more rewarding. If you're a college student, check out Love Your Melon. It's a fantastic organization that I'm so happy to support.
8. You don't have to have a ton of close friends to be happy.
As a teen, it can seem like the only way to be happy is to have a million friends. But, how likely is it really that you spend time with a ton of people and feel like you can trust each and every one of them? Rather than focusing on the number of friends you have, focus on the quality of friendship that you have with certain people. I have a lot of acquaintances and people I hang out with on campus, but my few close friends are my support system and provide me with everything I need in an amazing friend.
9. Call your parents. Call your grandparents. Call the people you care about.
The end of your teen years is the time where you'll likely start to head off into the world on your own. Whether you go off to college or find an apartment, you won't be around your loved ones 24/7 like you probably were for the majority of your life up until then. Don't forget about the people you care about. Call your parents just to say hi. Invite your grandmother out to lunch when you're home for the weekend. Check in with your best friend from home.
10. Your best is good enough.
If you're anything like me, you probably want to be the best at everything. I said it earlier and I'll say it again now: I'm a perfectionist. I like to tell myself that I don't have limits and that I can do everything, but that's just not reality. So, find the things that you love and the things that you're good at. Pour your energy into them and realize that your best is all you can do.
On a closing note, I've also learned that leaving your teen years apparently makes you a bit sappy. But hey, they're the majority of the life you've known so far, so you're going to have a lot of great (and not-so-great) memories from them. Embrace that sappy time of looking back before you move forward.
