10 Things I Want In A Husband

10 Things I Want In A Husband

Dear future husband, here are a few things you'll need to have.
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When I was younger, I would always map out a timeline of how I would want my perfect life to be. I would always say that I would get engaged my senior year of college, married by 23, and have a child at 26 so I could be a hot mom (you know we all want that).

However, I'm also really big on dating for a long time before I get engaged. Here I am about to turn 20, and there's no boyfriend in prospects of being a husband. I decided that I needed to actually think about what I would want in a husband, so I will know whether or not a guy is someone that I'd actually want to be with. Here is my list of 10 things that my future husband will have.

1. A sense of humor.

I'm the funniest person I know, or at least I tell myself that. I constantly crack jokes and I appreciate a guy that can do the same. Laughing is one of my very favorite things in life, and if I'm going to spend the rest of mine with someone I sure hope he's funny. And he has to think I'm funny too.

2. A strong work ethic.

My dad constantly worked so hard to give my family what we needed and wanted, and I expect my husband to be the same way. I was always taught that you can achieve anything you wanted if you were willing to put in the work. This is something I wish to pass on to my kids, and I believe that my husband and I would need to set the example for them. Having strong work ethic also gives you character and makes you appreciate things much more, which is something that I wish to see in my husband.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

3. A giving heart.

It's one thing to be a nice person. It's a completely different thing to be selfless, caring, and want to serve others. A giving heart allows a man to help others in need, to not act for his own personal gain, and to work according to the Lord.

4. A future.

This is a big one that a lot of girls seem to forget about. He might be the biggest frat star on campus and super cute, but he is going nowhere in life. This is a big deal considering his future will also be yours. I need to marry a man that has goals and dreams, and has the capabilities of achieving them.

5. A good amount of patience.

My brother once told me that he feels sorry for the guy I end up marrying. I can be a pain. I have an attitude sometimes and always have a whole lot of sass. I can be a little dramatic and even emotional. It's going to take one very patient man to put up with me on an everyday basis. And God bless him for doing so.

6. A love for family.

I was raised in a household that family came second only to God. Family has always been a very big part of my life and heart. This man will need to love family, not only his own, but our future one together. I wish to be a mother someday, and my future husband must be able to love our family unconditionally.

7. A sense of leadership.

Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that a man is the head of a family. In my marriage, I expect to consult with my husband about how decisions will be made and what we will do as a family, but then I will stand behind my husband as I know he will lead our family in the right direction, just as my father did.

8. A desire to be chivalrous.

Not just because his mom would kill him if he didn't, but because he was raised to genuinely want to show chivalry toward his wife and others. I feel so respected when I have the door opened for me, see a man standing up to greet me when I arrive, or running to get the car when it's pouring down rain. I feel special when a man brings me coffee or flowers for no reason, gives me his coat when I'm cold, or swoops me up and carries me over that puddle because it would ruin my shoes. Chivalry is most certainly not dead, and I'm a huge fan.

9. A wide variety of interests.

I like many different things. For example, I listen to about four different kinds of music in one day, and I go from reading to riding four-wheelers. I'm kind of all over the place. It is always good to have interests in common, and it would definitely be good for me to be with a man who likes a lot of different things as I do. This way I won't be watching the same western movie every night for the rest of my life, and every day will be a new adventure.

SEE ALSO: From The Girl Ready To Settle Down At 20

10. A relationship with God. This one is the most important. When I look to my future 50 years from now, I see myself sitting in church on Sundays next to my husband that I've been married to for many years. A relationship, and especially a marriage, should be centered around Christ. I want to avidly work to serve the Lord and I want to do it together. I will also raise my children in a home centered around faith. What I need is a man who will pray with me, grow with me in a relationship between ourselves and God, and help me to raise our children with love and knowledge of our Maker.

Bonus: nice teeth. I'm a sucker for a winning smile. We're always told that looks are not important when it comes to picking a guy, but that doesn't mean that it isn't a nice plus. So here's hoping my future beau has some pretty pearly whites.

And they lived happily ever after.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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To The Father Who Chose His Girlfriends Over His Children, I Wish You Well

After many moments spent in therapy, I don't resent you or hate you, I wish you well.

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I have written and rewritten this article a thousand times over and over and the words never really ever came out right.

As a kid, you have this image in your head of what you think the perfect life is supposed to be like. Usually somewhere along the lines of a nice two-story house, with two parents, that both love you and love each other, with a few siblings, some family vacations, etc. you get the point. Obviously, as you grow up, you realize not everything is going to be like this perfect image that is in your head.

As a kid, I thought you were a great dad.

You spent time with me, took me to the movies, out for dinner, on vacations, and other things that I thought you were doing specifically to be able to spend time with your daughter. Sure, you had your faults like any other dad but I always thought they were never deal breakers until they became a deal breaker.

When you and my mother split up, I believed that is was my mother's fault for tearing apart my perfect little family. She was the one that moved out and took us away from you so it had to be her fault. And you never let me believe it wasn't either.

When you first got a girlfriend right after you and mom split, I didn't think anything of it. I mean at that age, she just seemed like another sister to me.

At the age of fourteen, after you chose your eighth or so girlfriend over your own flesh and blood, that was the moment when it became a problem for me.

That was the moment when your unableness to function without another female in your life, really affected how I see the world.

I watched you yell at your daughter, the daughter that you chose to raise as your own by adoption, and tell her that if she chose to talk like that to your girlfriend, then she would leave. But I also chose to leave. However, I, unlike my sister, chose to never go back.

After that happened a lot of things made sense for why we did a lot of things as kids.

Your partners were the reason for just about everything we did. If we ever went to the movies, it was because they wanted to go. If we ever went out to eat, it was either because they didn't know how to cook or because they wanted to go. If we ever weren't allowed to come over for our every other weekend, it was because you had plans with them. If we ever went on vacation, it was because they told you to take them somewhere.

It was never about us and always about them.

As a kid, you don't care so much as to why you are doing things, but you are just grateful to be doing them. But as a young adult with their own developing mind, you start to care why you are doing things.

I realized that day that your kids would never be the first thing for you to consider, we would always be second to last.

After many moments spent in therapy, I don't resent you or hate you, I wish you well.

You are the reason the phrase, "but they're still family" has no meaning to me. That day was a giant lesson to me about how to carefully choose who I let accompany me in my life.

As a kid, I saw a man who constantly needed another woman to take care of him and who could not ever manage to be alone. I will say that is partially the reason that I choose to never need someone, and to live my life how I choose, and to never let the actions of someone else dictate my life.

I wish you well. You find no discomfort in the life you live and I doubt you ever will and that is OK because it is your life and not mine. I am not writing this for you to read it and change your life and find a new way of living. No, I am writing this as a child who was treated as the last option and who refuses to be treated as the last option again.

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