It’s been called many names: the “Redneck Riviera," the “Dirty Myrtle,” and my personal favorite, “Grad Week 2016.”
If you’ve ever had the privilege of going down to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina (or "South Cackalacky," as some of us call it), you’ll know this list below to be absolutely true.
1. You’ve just arrived, and you have to stop at “Bilo at the Beach” for all your vacation necessities, like milk, bread and cheap, uh, beverages. Bonus points if you also buy another sand castle kit.
2. For some light shopping and dinner, you’ll hit up Barefoot Landing. There you’ll be able to see a show at The Alabama Theatre, hold cute tiger cubs and get teased until you cry at Dicks Last Resort.
3. Speaking of food, it’s considered a criminal offense if you don’t visit the Boardwalk and order a foot-long hot dog at the famous Peaches Corner. Just don’t visit Ripley’s Believe it or Not afterward unless you want to, well, relive your dining experience.
4. And while you’re cruising the grand strand, you’ll probably be dared to ride the infamous Slingshot for $20. Spoiler Alert: Don’t do it.
5. You’ll definitely keep your eyes peeled for the elusive wild American alligators that can sometimes be seen in less populated areas. And you’ll probably double check each time before you jump into the pool … just in case!
6. If you vacation in Myrtle Beach around the Fourth of July, you know to be prepared for the constant snap, crackle and pop of fireworks at all hours of the night. I’ve always liked to imagine that it’s just the beach throwing a party for me.
7. At some point during your stay, you’ll drive down to Broadway at the Beach, buy five pounds of candy and other confections at It's Sugar (don’t act like you didn’t do it) and wonder why it’s even called Broadway at the Beach if there are no actual Broadway shows there … or was that just me?
8. If you’re out relaxing under the sun in a more crowded part of the beach, you’ll probably notice the distinctive smell of saltwater mixed with sweat, sunblock and dare I say, sewage? Veteran beach goers say it’s just part of the "atmosphere."
9. When you inevitably run out of sunblock or feel the sudden urge to buy a hermit crab, you'll have an endless supply of bargain stores to choose from. I mean literally, there are dozens. My favorite is the one that looks like this -
10. For the perfect late-night treat, you and the gang head to Painter’s famous ice cream and end your day with a couple of scoops and a lot of laughter. Later, you’ll probably be hungry again and buy a dozen donuts at the Krispy Kreme, but hey, it’s only tradition.
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