Are you able to walk from point A to point B without any accidents?
Can you run without tripping on air?
Are you able to perform basic tasks with ease?
If you answered no to any of these questions, you're not alone. There are so many basic tasks I can't complete without incident, and that's okay. (I think so anyway.) Everyone is clumsy once in a while, some more than others. Here are 10 things that you know to be true if you're almost too clumsy to function.
1. Carrying multiple objects at once is a challenge.
A lot of people have difficulty with this, but if you're as uncoordinated as I am, it's definitely not something you want to do every day. Even the laziest clumsy person will resort to multiple trips to avoid the embarrassment of dropping things in front of people.
2. You would never survive in a horror movie.
You think you're going to run away from that scary thing chasing you? Think again. You're dead meat, pal.
Hopefully you can muster up some master plan to crawl away or something, once you're down you probably won't be getting back up anytime soon.
3. You somehow hurt yourself almost every day.
One way or another, you've got some sort of injury. Whether it's a paper cut, a stubbed toe, a bruise you don't even remember getting, or even a broken bone.. No matter how hard you try, if it's going to happen, it's going to happen to you. Make sure you have a first-aid kit handy.
4. You lack basic coordination skills.
No matter how hard you try, your equilibrium is always off and this is what leads to most of your ridiculous injuries. You hand-eye coordination sucks, so
sports are always a challenge. We're the people that always get picked last in gym class. It's
okay though, at least we try.
5. Because of that, you can't walk in a straight line.
You can be sober AF and still sway and stumble.
Hopefully you never get pulled over.
7. Everything is an obstacle.
We try our
best though, so A for effort.
8. You literally trip over EVERYTHING
Air, pebbles, curbs... Air. But we recover gracefully and that's all that matters.
8. You typically wear (or drop) more food than you eat
This happens to me all the time. There's literally nothing worse than eating before you go out and getting something on your shirt. No matter how hard you try, it'll happen. Make that napkin a
bib and hope for the best. Also, try to keep food away from the edge of the table.
9. You've learned how to laugh at yourself
After the first few times of falling, you start to learn that you just can't be embarrassed anymore. Besides laughter is the best medicine, especially when you hurt yourself real bad.
10. Regardless, you're still freakin' awesome.
No matter how many times you hurt yourself or drop things, you are awesome.
Be proud of who you are, you clumsy mess.
