Growing up in a military family tends to have a bit of a different twist than a typical family dynamic. We travel a lot. Each of us was born in different states, and it feels like we either always see each other from being cramped together from move to move or we never see each other from going to school, work or deployment. Regardless, we are a family, and here is what my military parents have taught m
1. Always have respect for others, especially your elders.
In a military dynamic, you show respect for everyone, in particular, those of higher rank. You have their back and they will always have your back. Essentially, you become a family, and this same behavior is reflected in our personal lives as well. Besides, you can never get anything by being disrespectful.
2. Being a family means that we are a team, and we will function as so.
You are expected to look after your own and work together to resolve problems. As a family that was constantly on the road, we had to help each other, and we sure as hell got to know each other well. Of course, your older brother is going to get on your nerves, but no matter what, if someone did them wrong, they would have to deal with you and the rest of your family’s wrath, and we don’t go down easy.
3. Be self-driven and motivated.
Be successful and be happy. Find your passions and let it eat you alive. Allow your goals to drive you to success, and when it’s not something you necessarily want to do but have to, remember why you are there and learn something from the experience.
4. Never give up.
When a task or situation gets difficult, that is where you actually learn something. Just because it gets hard, don’t quit; continue until you finish and get it. When I was five years old, I took a ballet class and didn’t like it, but my parents made me finish it because quitting was not an option and I had to finish what I decided to start. That ideology applies to more than I could even imagine at only five years old.
5. Be grateful, be humble.
We might not have much, but we have always had each other, and that’s all we have ever needed. Constantly having to leave friends, schools and places that you have adopted as your home, we were in it together. We didn’t have much. Seeing the scenery as we drove by, that was enough for us.
6. Love whom you have while you have them.
As a military family, deployments are a nightmare, from the constant nostalgia of your soldier's presence to wondering where they are and, more significantly, wondering if they are safe. You really learn to love and appreciate your family once it feels like they are ripped away from you with only the hopes that they can return. Deployments were one of the only times in my life that I prayed to a God that I was never sure that I believed in, just for the hopes that only good fortune could come from it.
7. Honesty is key.
Both of my parents worked in intelligence. They knew what we were doing as kids, and we definitely were not as sneaky as we thought we were. Honesty is one of the most important components to any relationship in your life, and lying to your parents of all people, was just not going to fly in the Gailes family.
8. You learn that home is not a place, but a feeling.
If we made home a place, then we would never be home, which would just make us all upset. I had to learn that home could never be classified as the roof over our head, but as the people I loved most in this world and the feelings that came along with it. This way, we can make every place that is special to us feel like home.
9. Civilian life is much different than military life.
Living off-base in the civilian world requires a certain level of assimilation. These people have been raised in such a way that saying “Hi” to the person you are sitting next to or that introducing yourself to your neighbors is weird. Being from a place where you are friendly to everyone within your general vicinity, this is odd; and, for once, you actually meet people who have lived in the same place their whole lives. Crazy.
And last, but certainly not least…
10. Diversity is beautiful.
From living on the West Coast to the East Coast, there is definitely a change in scenery and vibes. You learn to appreciate people of all backgrounds, races, genders and cultures. The military is basically one big melting pot of unique people from all over the world, and everyone has something different that they can teach you. Every experience is different for everyone, and it is a beautiful thing to be able to learn these new perspectives and apply them to your own insights.
Being an Army brat, overall, has its ups and downs, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I’ve learned responsibilities, respect, and morality from not only my military parents, but from the people I have been exposed to over those years. Even though it can be rough, never give up, because the benefits and life lessons outweigh the negatives. I am a proud Army brat for life. Hooah!
