So, I grew up always being the shortest. And when I say short...I mean short. At 18 years old, I'm only 5 feet tall, and that's on a pretty darn good day.
From having to wear shoes that make you slightly taller JUST so you can get on that new ride at your favorite amusement park, to not being able to sit in the front seat of a car until a very, very embarrassing age. Let's just say, being short isn't always as great as people might think.
However, it's not all bad! For example, in pictures, you tend to be in the middle and everyone else has to come to you, so of course it makes you feel just a little bit special. Also, when your coach tells you to line up shortest-to-tallest, you don't even have to think about it, you just go to the end of the line and everyone else files in accordingly.
But over the years, I've found that there are quite a few tasks that would be much easier if I could JUST be a few inches taller. So here are 10 struggles us "shorties" face every day.
1. You can't touch the floor when you sit in a chair. MAYBE the tips of the tips of your toes, but is that comfortable? No.
You have this habit of moving around quite a bit in your chair and people always look at you funny. It seems as though they're thinking, "can't you just sit still for 5 minutes?" Sometimes they even have the audacity to ask that question...out loud. How dare they, right? Well, I'll tell you why I can't sit still. It's because it's not comfortable to let my legs dangle with no support, and unfortunately, I don't know the luxury of being able to sit comfortably with my feet flat on the floor like every other human being around me.
2. Your pants fit you in length or width, never both. Well, now that you mention it, pretty much never in length, either.
You're out shopping and you see this really cute, and super affordable, pair of jeans at your favorite store and you're totally about to buy them, but decide that you should probably try them on first. You go into the fitting room, you pull them on, and guess what? Oh shocker, they don't fit. So you make your way to the counter and ask if they happen to come in a shorter length. The store clerk punches a few buttons on the keyboard and then kindly tells you that this pair of jeans, the ones that you've fallen in love with, in fact do not come in a shorter length. So you thank them for their time and leave the store, shrugging your shoulders, because you're so used to this happening to you. Maybe next time!
3. Oh, you want that bag of chips on the top shelf? That's hilarious. Just forget about it.
So you can't reach that bag of deliciousness all the way up on the top shelf. But, come on, let's be real, you can't even reach the shelf below that. So you spend the rest of your time walking around the grocery store thinking that it must be a sign. I mean, you probably don't really need them anyway, right? Wrong. You so need them. Where's an employee? Oh I think I see one. "Hello sir, excuse me!"
4. Your favorite show is "America's Next Top Model" and you want to be just like your favorite contestant. And who doesn't want to meet Tyra Banks?!
Sadly, you already know modeling is pretty much off the table and you've learned to accept that. But that doesn't mean a girl can't dream... Now go practice your Smize!
5. "Hey you're like the perfect arm rest!"
You can't even begin to count how many times someone has said this to you. They just walk up and put their elbow on your head. No worries, you weren't just having a fantastic hair day or anything... *eye roll*
6. When your friends stand in the 5-foot section of a pool and you sit there thinking..."how?!?!"
You know if you tried that, you'd surely drown. The water would be over your head! So you just stick to 3 feet, anything past that is considered the "deep end."
7. You have to walk twice as fast just to keep up with everyone else.
You have tall friends because, well, even a person of average height is tall to you. And they all seem to be walking so fast all of the time, like slow down! It's because their legs are monstrously long compared to yours. Though, really, it's just that your legs are little and stubby. Your stride is obviously much shorter so you have to adjust your pace. CAUTION: if you have asthma, carry your inhaler with you at all times, this can get pretty intense.
8. You're terrified to learn how to drive, for fear that you will not be able to see.
People constantly ask if you can see over the steering wheel. Okay, you're not THAT short. They need to take a chill pill. You can always scoot closer to the wheel so your feet can reach the pedals. Besides, even if you can't see over the steering wheel, you can always get a cushion, pillow, or some telephone books (does anyone even use those anymore?). Maybe some textbooks, everyone knows you're paying enough for them!
9. People ask if you're "legally a midget"...all...the...time.
OK, pause. On a serious note, the term "midget" is seen as highly offensive. Dwarfism is a real thing that affects approximately 1 out of every 200,000 people on earth. It might just offend you a little bit when someone suggests that to you as a joke. You're short enough for your liking, you know how often you get picked on, and you can't imagine what people with dwarfism must go through. So many of these wonderful people are bullied and made fun of and it's not right. They're exactly the same as us, just smaller. Much respect to all of you. You're all beautiful!
10. "Wait, are you a freshman in high school?" "No sir, I'm a freshman in college... Do I really look 14 to you?"
This has happened to you at some point in your life, or maybe multiple points. Someone has mistaken you for being in a grade much lower than the one you're truly in. But you take it with a grain of salt, because at least you know you'll always look slightly younger than the age you really are!
See, there are many reasons that being "vertically challenged", as I like to call it, could be considered a disadvantage. And sometimes it is, but you have to learn to embrace it because short people are awesome! And hey, can a person who's 5 foot 7 inches crawl into that tiny little space to retrieve that lost item of theirs? No they can't. So keep your head held high, even though you still may not be able to see over that high counter or into that mirror, because great things come in small packages!
