Ahh yes, Target, how you beckon me to come in and hand over my money. There’s something inherently wonderful about this store, in that it’s more than just a store—it’s a true haven. With so many different things to look at you can easily spend hours lost in home décor or caught up in the clothing section, especially that clearance rack. Each time I enter through those automatic doors I am seemingly captivated—my conspiracy of choice involves hypnosis and that big, swirled logo of theirs, urging me to stay for hours. Here are the 10 stages of shopping at Target.
1. You look forward to your trip to Target.
This is no ordinary grocery run. You've been planning and looking forward to this trip all week and it's finally here! Going to Target is an event.
2. Walking in and discovering there’s a Starbucks.
Even though the plan is to get in and get out, grabbing an Americano couldn’t hurt. Gotta get that caffeine to fuel this shopping trip. I mean, it’s pretty convenient. Besides, you work hard, treat yo’ self.
3. Stumbling into The Dollar Spot.
You were so motivated, so driven. And now here you are: I’m just going to take a quick peek, you never know there could be a hidden treasur—OMG look how cute these dog bowls are!! I know I don’t have a dog, but they’re so cute and they’re only $1!! I’ll just get one, or three, to hold onto. You know, for the future.
4. Attempting to regain your focus.
That little detour cost you time, but you’re so determined to get the things you came for. You make it to your first stop. Congratulations, you are making progress.
5. You quickly lose that focus.
We all have our thing. The candy aisle, the toys and gadgets, the $5 DVD’s (really, who can turn that down?!) For me, it’s the cosmetics. Like, this e.l.f. blush is only $3, I HAVE to try it! And try it I did. I own a plethora of other $3 beauty products. No shame.
6. You incessantly scan every barcode with the Cartwheel app.
How could you forget until now?? All those online coupons you can claim! YES. Two of your items are 5% off, you little budget savvy shopper, you. Before you know it, you’re scrolling through all “Offers” to see what other great deals you can score today. You pride yourself in being a baller on a budget.
7. You take a look at what's new in home décor.
I mean, right now you don't have your own place, but someday you will! It's responsible to plan for the future. Somehow you've spent an hour looking at bedding, lamps, and wall art. You've planned out your life and have a five-year plan that includes a home in the suburbs, a husband, and two dogs (good thing you got those dog bowls from the dollar spot!).
8. You go to the apparel section "just to check" for deals on the clearance rack.
Oh man, the clearance rack. So beautiful. So many great buys. You say to yourself "I'll just shuffle through the 70% off, skim the 50% off, and scan over the 30% off." You've now convinced yourself you NEED these tank tops and a bikini. Sure it's winter now, but when it heats up you'll be glad you got these, and for SUCH a good deal!! You go girl.
9. You get to the checkout line and realize how many items you've accumulated.
It's all fun and games until you start unloading your cart onto the conveyer belt. You realize just how awry this shopping trip went. Oh shoot, she's scanning your items. No going back. HOLY COW HOW DID I SPEND THAT MUCH MONEY?! *reluctantly swipes card*
10. You become sad because you can't live in Target.
Target is just such a magical place. Like leaving Disneyland, there's always that part of you that wants to stay forever. Walking back to your car is always a little sad. It's OK to cry.
There you have it. We have all been there: you go in for one item and you come out with $67 worth of merchandise.
There's also a good chance you get home and realize you forgot that one item you originally went in for.
Shoot.
