The Five Stages of Shopping at Target

We've all been there, the classic "I only needed one thing but I ended up spending way more than necessary at Target." The guilt rises but the satisfaction cancels it all out. A part of you cries while the other rejoices in the fact you now have another shower curtain that you can use in a three a.m. spur of the moment redecorating spree. As promised, here are the stages.

1. The Entry

It's time.

You have officially entered Target for ONE ITEM and ONE ITEM ONLY. You mentally prepare yourself. Bank Account Balance, check. List, check. Determination to only buy one item -toilet paper, we need a crash cart. She's going to lose it.

2. The Calm, Cool, and Calculated Cart Avoidance

You've been tempted. You see the beautifully tempting, and oddly secure confines of the red shopping cart. You tell yourself, maybe I'll get the biggest pack of toilet paper so I ABSOLUTELY NEED this cart. "Okay, fine." You think to yourself. "Grab a cart. I am not a successful head-carrying device that could possible carry the biggest pack trough the store".

3. The Need

"I need this" comes staggering into your head.. "No I don't" followed by "Okay ONE extra item won't hurt". this one item turns into six...seven...okay, you've lost count at this point but you NEED those kitty bowls and that scarf and don't forget about the shirt with the kitten that says "I'm Purr-fect".

4. Actually Getting the Item You Desperately Came For

You have finally arrived at the toilet paper isle with a cart full of cute and a wallet full of agony. Your self control (and account balance) has plummeted. Nothing is safe. You grab your toilet paper and head back to the front of the store.

5. The Checkout

Standing in line you begin to think about what is actually in your cart and what you came for. It is now your turn to be rung up. You watch as your items are neatly packed and the subtotal skyrockets. It's time to pay.


Now that you've read this I bet you want to go to Target. *Insert Facebook cliché about "If I am right, you must like and share"* Happy Shopping!