The most nerve-wracking part about being a "grown up" is tackling grocery shopping for yourself for the first time. And by "grown up," I mean sophomore in college living off-campus with no dining hall meal plan. Nothing says "I have my life together" like someone who can successfully navigate the aisles of their local grocery store, but we all have to start somewhere. Here is what most likely will happen the first time you try to grocery shop for yourself.
1. You're going to think "I can handle this, I've gone grocery shopping for my parents before."
Don't lie to yourself. Your mother probably asked you to go grocery shopping a few times in high school because she was too busy. She probably gave you a detailed list of items broken down by what aisle they were located in at her favorite store as well as the item weight in ounces. She may have even written the prices of each item on the list and subtotaled the costs for you at the bottom with state tax included. Your mother has mastered grocery shopping, you have not.
2. You're going to think "I don't need a list."
Don't lie to yourself. Take the time to make the list of what you need. You are not going to remember everything. Then you will walk around aimlessly through your grocery store without a single clue on whether you needed more Easy Mac or not. So you'll buy it anyway.
3. You're going to zigzag around the store because you have no clue where anything is.
The man behind the deli won't be keeping track of how many times you've walked by his counter looking for the cereal aisle. But you'll probably feel dumb. Just ask for help before he does notice.
4. You're going to end up in the snack aisle first.
If you were on a meal plan during your freshman year, you probably only went to the grocery store to buy more snacks for you and your roommates. But now you are a sophomore in college with no meal plan. You can't live off of snacks.
5. You're going to forget how to make every meal your parents ever made you as a child.
Can you even recreate these dishes? Probably not. You can't remember what's in your mother's famous meatballs or even how to make your dad's "10 Minute Tacos." Do you even remember how to make a bowl of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup?
6. You're going to forget to be balanced with your meals.
Now that you have placed a week's worth of pasta in your shopping cart, you feel like you've conquered the world. Except you're missing your veggies, fruits, dairy, and protein items. The Food Pyramid means nothing to you. You can totally survive off of pasta. Except you can't, keep shopping.
7. You're going to forget the non-food items.
Congratulations, you finally have a decent amount of food in your cart! But you're not ready to pay! You forgot you need more shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, laundry detergent and paper towels. At least you walked by the aisle and it jogged your memory.
8. You're going to sign up for the store advantage card if you haven't already.
And you've convinced yourself that you are going to be an extreme couponing queen! You will probably forget that you said this in about two hours. But you will use the store advantage card next week when the cashier says, "do you have a rewards card?" and you remember you own one. Like an adult that has their life together.
9. You're gonna try to carry all of your bags in one trip.
This is a bad idea. See the above "Home Alone" reference.
10. You're going to get home and realize that you and your three other roommates all bought the same stuff and now there is no room in your refrigerator because there are four quarts of milk shoved in there.
Basically, you bought four of everything by accident. You now have four quarts of milk, four dozen eggs, copious bags of frozen veggies, four, 2.5 pound bags of grapes, etc. Next time you need to coordinate.
11. You're going to realize that you have to do this again in a week or two.
But you've grown because of the experience. You'll do better next time. With your coordinated shopping list, coupons and persistence, you will master the art of grocery shopping.
