Best friends are like your favorite pair of spanx; they hold together all the bits and pieces of you even when you haven’t been to the gym in a month and are sure that at any second a piece of your muffin top could burst out the side of your dress. They’ve loved you endlessly through the braces, the side bangs, the failed hair styling attempts and the endless Capri denim short/Areopostale graphic T-shirt outfit combinations. So here is an article dedicated to all the pairs of spanx in our lives, we’d be lost with out you.
1. They’ve stood by you through all of your failed attempts to style your hair.
Even when you were convinced from grades six through eleven that your hair looked so good with all of it parted to one side of your head, they stood by you and assured you that you looked beautiful. They loved you through the good the bad and the middle part hairstyles.
2. They loved you even when you were a slightly alarming looking middle schooler.
Middle school is a time comparable to the dark ages in any teenage girl's life (unless you’re one of those genetically engineered robots that somehow skips over the natural three-year awkward phase and magically knows how to put on eyeliner without looking like a member of the Cure). Bushy eyebrows, jean capri shorts, braces, bellbottom jeans, turtle necks from GAP kids, you name it and you probably had them/wore them in middle school. Your best friends loved you through it all and were probably wearing the same graphic T-shirt as you in a different color.
3. They are down to eat with you any time of the day.
Food is a second language to you and your best friends. There could be a tropical storm outside and you would still be restaurant hopping and eating guacamole while the street signs outside are getting ripped from the ground and flung into a tornado. The waiters at at least five restaurants know all of your names, your orders and get genuinely concerned when a member of your group is missing at a meal.
4. They pretend to exercise with you.
At first, everyone is really motivated in the group chat when one of you decides that they are having a fitness based existential crisis and must go on a run immediately. However, when you guys actually get to the exercising part, about three steps are taken before you all get back in the car and find the nearest Dunkin' Donuts to get bacon egg and cheeses and extra large iced coffees.
5. There’s absolutely no boundaries.
Do you know those things called boundaries that people have in relationships? Well they are comparable to a myth in your group's friendship. You’ve seen the good, the bad and the ugly bits of each of your lives. While your friend was experiencing her first breakup, the rest of your group was probably hiding in a car in her driveway with already ordered take-out to binge eat after it was finished. You also probably accidentally turned the car lights on as he was walking out of her house, exposing all three of your horrified faces and the half eaten egg rolls in your hands.
6. They’ve been in your house for multiple hours at a time when you weren’t there.
They know your garage passcode and where the spare key is hidden. They know where all the best snacks are and they’ve probably taken your dog on a walk while they were at it. You’ve come home from work at least once and found them sitting on your couch watching TV completely unfazed by your entrance. Your home is theirs and their home is yours.
7. Your group has at least one horrifyingly embarrassing stop motion video/ choreographed dance to an over-played pop song.
You guys spent hours applying eye shadow that matched the color of your outfits, attempting to straighten your hair and finding tank tops that showed .00000001 percent of your stomachs thinking that it was the most scandalous thing you guys had ever worn. You then spent an additional three hours sitting in a circle planning a precise dance to LMFAO’s “Yes” that consisted of a bunch of dances moves that more or less made it look like you all were having a collective group seizure. And of course you posted the finished product on Facebook thinking that it would 100 percent raise your popularity status.
8. Half your closet is at their houses and half their closets are at yours.
On more than one occasion, one of your friends has probably come into school with one of your shirts on. But it doesn’t phase you because you also haven’t returned that shirt from three years ago that you took at a sleepover and refuse to give up because it has become an integral part of your wardrobe.
9. Being naked around them doesn’t phase you anymore.
“Letting it all hang out" has taken on a new meaning. Not a single one of you has any shame any more and in fact, you probably were the first person to notice that new mole on your best friend's upper thigh and told her to go to the doctor to get it checked out. In the grand scheme of your friendship, a butt cheek here or there literally has no effect on your group anymore.
10. They are unconditionally there for you and you are unconditionally there for them.
All jokes aside, you know that you would walk across the ocean for them and that they would do the same for you. They’re the people you would call in the middle of the night to burry the body. It doesn’t matter how far away you all are or in how many different directions life begins to take each of you, you guys will always find your way back to each other. You have no doubt in your minds that 10 years from now your kids will call them their aunts and that 60 years from now you’ll be old grandmas together sitting in a diner sharing pictures of your grandkids and having the same conversations you did when you were 16. Unconditional love does not have a distance or time limit.
