It has probably happened to you a few times, you are hanging out with friends, laughing and having fun, and you do or say something that seems to remind someone of the traits of an elderly person. Do not worry, you are not alone. There are many other secretly elderly people out there, and here is a list to tell if you are a closet grandma.
1. You are in bed, or at least home, every night before 9.
Alright, 9 may be pushing it, most nights I am home well before 7 curled up on the couch browsing Facebook or watching TV (Excuse me. My programs).
2. You have at least 5 cardigans hanging in your closet at one time.
What do you mean one person doesn't need multiple variations of the same piece of clothing? They go with everything, besides, what if I get a chill?
3. You bake on a weekly basis.
The sounds of whisks and an oven door moving are incorporated into your housemates' minds forever. You also have at least one recipe memorized, and it's probably your best one.
4. Tea has become one of your favorite drinks.
You are honestly appalled if someone does not like hot tea, because how can someone not like the amazingness that is hot leaf water? It's exponentially better than bean water.
5. Your joints crack like pop rocks on a regular basis.
You know that if you sit still for longer than 2 hours your body is going to sound like it's putting off gunshots when you stand up.
6. You are not-so-secretly outraged at the prices of healthy food.
How much does salmon cost per pound? Olive Oil is how much? You're just going to end up buying off-brand anyway, let's be honest here.
7. At the same time, you love going to the grocery store...
It's like a wonderland of possibilities, and you get excited over the smallest things. Have you seen purple cauliflower?!
8. You are the voice of reason in your group of friends.
Forget being the mom of the group, you are the grandma that tries to instill her learned wisdom upon the rest. Sometimes it's not a good idea to go get fast food at 2 in the morning, or go on a date with a guy that's kind of an A hole- no matter how cute he is.
9. It takes you at least a week to get the hang of new technology.
That new phone you upgraded to? You'll want to throw it against a wall an hour after opening it. New TV remote? You'll spend five minutes staring at it trying to find the volume buttons. Eventually, you will learn to love them though.
10. You fall asleep at the most inappropriate times and places.
Class? Check. Study area? Check. Watching a movie with friends? Check.
Do not be ashamed of your habits, embrace them!
