I have yet to fail a class (but final grades aren’t in, so who knows) and I hope that I never do. I’m paying an insane amount of tuition, I would at least like a degree out of it. But all the other times I failed-- all the no’s when I had worked so hard for a yes, all the times I looked at “regretfully inform” instead of “congratulations,” all the times I got a call telling me that I hadn’t made it, all the moments where I wondered what went wrong--those are the moments that now I am so grateful for.
I’m glad I’ve lost several (dozen) times.
1. You learn something new.
If you failed because you didn’t know something or you missed out on one moment, don’t despair. It’s a good learning experience. You just have to push yourself a little harder or find some other passion.
2. It makes a good story.
It’s hard to imagine ever wanting to tell people that you failed. But there are moments where you just need to let go of any embarrassment regarding that. Everyone fails. And a good way to heal is to tell other people, to listen to them comfort you and tell you that it’s not a big deal if you move on. And it’s great entertainment at parties.
3. You can laugh at yourself later in.
The things that seem like the end of the world now will be moments that don’t matter in 10 years. We’ll look back and wonder why it was so stressful to hear a no. We will hear a hundred no’s in our lifetime. Future you will laugh at this moment… why not make future you the current you?
4. Picking yourself back up after failing is a growing experience.
I’m a better person now than I was before I failed. I’m more humble and I know that nothing comes easily. You have to work for it.
5. You learn what you love… and what you don’t.
Maybe you find out that something you didn’t succeed at is just purely because you don’t love it. It’s hard to find drive to work hard if you’re unhappy doing it, and when you find that thing you do love, you’re grateful you failed in the first place.
6. Life is boring without a little bit of adversity.
Seriously, where would all the stories come from? All the wild nights and the rough mornings? Have a few regrets in life, but learn from them.
7. You learn who is really there for you in life, and who isn’t worth your time.
The people that matter most will be there for you if you fail. They will lift you back up when you want to curl into a ball. And if there are people in your life who don’t support you when you need it, drop them.
8. Crying is cathartic.
It really does make you feel better to cry. Cry alone, cry with someone else, cry in public or in private or in the middle of the quad. Just cry. You will feel a little bit more healed afterwards. And if it takes a little bit of failure to let out a lot of stress, then I’m grateful for the occasional bad grade.
9. It makes the triumphs seem even better.
If everything came easily, you would get no satisfaction from accomplishment. Part of the joy of doing well is knowing that you got there because you worked hard, because you tried, because you spent the time putting in the effort you needed. If you never failed, you would never feel the rush of joy from hearing a “yes” after five “no’s.”
10. You get a little bit closer to being who you’re going to be.
I have no idea who I am right now. I am torn between making a dozen decisions and somehow people expect me to figure out a 10 year plan when I struggle to figure out how to dress in Seattle’s unpredictable weather. But failing and growing and finding out what I love makes it a little bit easier to point me in the direction of where I want to end up.
