Beer. The quintessential drink that floats around almost every college campus. We are here today, ladies and gentlemen, to talk about one thing and one thing only and that is why beer is not only one of the most culturally important and adaptable drinks for any college student, but why it is a better companion than a particular section of the population in our world. Girls. So let's get started then.
1. Beer is always willing to go party with me.
There is never a time where beer has told me that it was tired tonight or that it didn’t feel like hanging out with everybody tonight.
2. Beer has never asked or expected me to pay for everything that is happening tonight.
Beer is always willing to enjoy the experience that is going on without worrying about the price or splitting the check, because beer is just happy to be invited and made to feel special.
3. Beer has never wanted me to massage it while I am trying to watch the game.
Yes, ladies, we know your feet hurt sometimes and we know that you put them in front of us. No that does not mean that we want to acknowledge they are there or what that means for our next hour of life.
4. Beer is not embarrassed by my dance moves.
In fact, as far as beer is concerned, I should be on Dancing with the Stars already. ABC, I'll be waiting on my call, thank you.
5. Beer is always willing to cuddle with me. Always.
6. Beer never thinks that one more beer is a bad idea.
Okay, to be honest sometimes beer should be a bit stricter when it comes to this, but that is not an argument for here.
7. There's no such thing as a bad idea when Beer is there.
Every idea you ever had should be written down and placed in a book called "Why Am I Such a Genius?"
8. Spending the whole day with beer and just hanging out is actually preferred.
No plans, fancy restaurants, or huge bills are necessary when you have beer by your side.
9. Beer is always willing to listen to the problems that you are having.
Yes, the fact that your fantasy team lost stinks. No, they ran out of your favorite type of beef jerky at Wal-Mart. Yes, these are all legitimate problems and should be addressed.
10. With beer, at the end of the day, whatever happens, you know that beer will be there to have your back.
No matter what is said between the two of you or how often you separate or fight, at the end of day, beer knows that it is your ride or die and it takes that role in the relationship very seriously.
