Talking to people is hard sometimes (or all of the time, if you’re me). When even just having a decent conversation with someone is a struggle, it’s hard to imagine being able to push that into something more than just an acquaintanceship, let alone into a full-on relationship.
I embarked on the journey of online dating this summer as an unemployed, lonely hermit just trying to get out of the house. To avoid falling back into my nightmarish bout of depression I had just recently started to wake up from, anxiety-ridden as I was, I joined OkCupid. Aside from the fact that I am now a month into a relationship with a guy I met online (Tinder, go figure), even my most negative experiences were at least incredibly eye-opening, if not completely hilarious. Here are some reasons why, if you’re socially anxious, awkward, or just plain lonely, you should give online dating a shot.
1. You are in charge.
With online dating, you don't have to meet up with, have a conversation with, or even respond to anyone you're not interested in. You get to pick and choose how you distribute your time and efforts on a site. Speaking of which...
2. Block features.
If someone won't leave you alone or says something off-color (which, unfortunately, will happen), most dating sites have a block feature. Even ones that don't, such as Tinder, have other ways of making sure you never have to just sit there and take it while someone incessantly bombards you with 80 variations of the greeting "hey". That's something that could be useful in real life. Maybe someday we'll have that luxury.
3. The playing field is level.
So, you're anxious because meeting up with a stranger is mildly terrifying. Well, guess what? The other person likely feels the same way. Strangers are, indeed, scary, especially when your only views of them are based on the image they construct of themselves online. Because there's no aspect of social standing or life accomplishments, however, you both are going into the situation with minimal preconceptions of inferiority or even superiority, which are always harmful to getting to know someone.
4. You can get out of your dreadful room.
Seriously, the worst thing you can do if you are discontented with your current social or romantic situation is to just sulk in your bed, alone. Meeting up with interesting people not only infuses a bit of excitement into your mundane life, but it gives you an excuse to change your scenery and escape the dark cave that is your room.
5. Try new things.
On a similar note, having a whole slew of new people at your fingertips gives you leeway to engage in activities you wouldn't otherwise have a chance to do. Want to go for a hike, but your friends would rather sit in bed and watch Netflix? Or you're just too damn afraid to ask any of your friends to go because you've somehow convinced yourself they hate you for the 8th time that day? No problem! Find an outdoorsy match on a site, and boom! Problem solved. Plus, exciting activities get your heart rate going, which is always good for an engaging and rewarding time.
6. Exercise your social skills with people you never have to see again.
If you're like me, conversing like a "normal human being" (whatever that even means) is a nightmare. This leads to avoiding social situations, which is counterproductive to the whole idea of practicing and improving your interactions with other people. The main logic of this is not wanting to make a fool of yourself to people you are interested in being friends with. If you're practicing these skills with people you don't know, it makes the idea of screwing up less daunting. In the case of an awkward move on your part, an awkward move on your date's part, or a date from hell, you can choose to never come into contact with this person ever again.
7. Hookups are alright!
My ultimate goal was to find a good ol' relationship (which I actually did wind up finding on Tinder). But relationships aren't things you can just force upon the first person you go out with that you had a decent time with. In the absence of any truly serious, strong connections, it can be fun to just hook up with someone, no strings attached. Of course, as with hook ups with people you met initially in person, this requires some caution, but if you're looking for something to hold you over 'til you find the real thing (or even if all you're looking for is something casual), the internet pretty much showers you in possibilities.
8. Begin discovering your likes and dislikes in a potential partner.
I hadn't had a single romantic encounter prior to signing up for a dating site. I had an idea of the kinds of guys I liked, but I never had the chance to test it myself. Sifting through piles and piles of potential matches really allow you to narrow down what you want and don't want in a relationship. A few guys I met up with made me think, "Oh, okay, I definitely don't like that quality in a guy" while some others helped me clarify for myself what I truly considered essential in a relationship.
9. You WILL have funny stories.
Probably more entertaining than the tale of you binge-watching the entirety of "Parks & Rec" the first week of winter break, anyway. From the first guy I ever met with a crippling fear of applesauce (or "A. S.", as he called it) to the guy who literally ran away from me because he didn't approve of my answer to the question, "What do you do for fun?", these experiences provide you with an arsenal of hilarious stories to tell.
10. You’ll encounter awesome people.
Beneath all of the "nise tits lol" messages and the people who will cancel plans on you about eighty times in a week, there are people who you will connect with whether on a friendly level or a romantic level, in ways you never thought possible. The internet just makes these people more accessible to you. Take advantage of it!
