I am a laid back guy. Not much can get under my skin and so, for future reference, I have compiled a list of things that are a little bothersome to me; my "pet peeves," if you will. Sit back and have a laugh at things that get under my skin.
1. Dogs Wearing Clothes
I have no clue why this is so bothersome to me. Maybe it's because literally any dog is already cute, and putting it in a tiny sweater will make me inferior. IDK. But what I do know is that most dogs probably have a better fashion sense than me. Like, dang.
2. Kid Leashes
I have to admit, I used to think it was hilarious when I was at an amusement park and walked by a toddler with a leash attached to his little backpack. However, if my time on Tumblr has taught me anything, it's taught me that literally everything has rights. And that 2-year-old must be ridiculously humiliated. All I have to say is "I'm sorry little friend, I cannot free you from this prison." I'm so sorry, little one...
3. Loud People at Restaurants
I get it. You're having a conversation. But, my friend, I shouldn't be able to hear all about how "your car is dying faster than a plant with no water." Bro. Turn the volume down a notch, for everyone's sake. But mostly just so the person you're sitting across from doesn't get a face full of mashed potatoes..
4. Bluetooth People
We've all been there, walking around a Walmart or grocery store or even on the street, when all of a sudden, some dude in a three-piece suit starts screaming at us about why there wasn't milk in his lunch box (personal experience, it was weird). Anyway, you go on having a full conversation with Suit Guy and in the middle of your sentence, he turns and says something to the effect of "I'm sorry, did you say something?" I wanted to punch Suit Guy. I was emotionally invested in his milk woes and then he does that!? Hella rude.
5. Freshmen Dating
We all know that couple in school who are all about each other for the first four days of class, and then, poof, their relationship fizzles out quicker than the head on a soda dies down. I may or may not have even taken bets on who I thought was gonna make it past a month...I lost.
6. Txt Lnguge
Can you read the subheading? Yea, me neither. I wonder what people who only put "r" and "u" when they mean "are" and "you" doing with all the extra time they have on their hands. If I had that much time, I probably would've done one five-piece puzzle; it would have to have unicorns on it because unicorns are rad.
7. Uncle Rico
If you were a kid in the mid-2000s, then you should know who this is. This guy made my man Napoleon Dynamite's life like five times worse than it already was, being all obsessed with the past and what not. Jerk. Throwing steaks at people like he has a steak tree in his backyard...well, I got news for you: Steak doesn't grow on trees! Sorry, I just got caught up in all of my emotions...
8. Skim Milk
"There is only one thing that I hate more than lying. Skim Milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk." Have you ever tried to have chocolate milk with skim milk as a base? It's actually the worst culinary thing on the face of the planet. Whole milk or no milk, I've been saying it since '93.
9. The Entire Cast of the Jersey Shore
This show was about a bunch of Italians--two of which aren't even close to being Italian--and they went about drinking disgusting amounts of alcohol, sleeping with each other, and just being awful people. The truth is about to come out, ladies and gentlemen, I used to love that show. I watched it religiously, and it was only up until about a year ago when I realized the mistake that I made. I now wish that I had never found it--I could've used that time so much more productively.
10. Cinnamon Flavored Anything
Cinnamon gum, cinnamon candy, cinnamon candles, literally why? If I wanted something spicy I would've eaten a ghost pepper, not something that I thought was supposed to be sweet and nice and amazing. This is why I have trust issues. And people decide to go and put a spoonful in their mouth which is dangerous! Man, humans are not going to survive long with all the stupid stuff we do.
