For those of you who don't know, there is a chance that Donald Trump may become President. That's right: Donald Trump. Mr. Trump, the man who has become famous for his bleach-blonde, comb-over hairdo and carrot-esque skin tone, is officially in the running to become the next president of the United States. What was once a moderately funny, sick and twisted joke, has now become a harsh and unsettling reality.
Trump wants to build walls (and destroy the country) all while making America "great again." That seems like a pretty packed agenda for someone who can't seem to find the time to evenly apply self tanner, or keep track of a tube of ChapStick. Honestly, how do people expect him to direct America in the right direction when he doesn't even know which direction to comb his hair?
I have already purchased a passport and have made living arrangements with family in Italy and I suggest you all do the same. Realistically, how do we expect America to prosper and flourish under the guidance of a man who made a living out of firing people?
Despite all this, I urge you all not to panic. I have already taken the liberty of selecting a few presidential alternatives to Mr. Trump because it seems highly unlikely that he'll be able to fit his fat head into the Oval Office.
He's already the "World's Best Boss," so he clearly has what it takes to become the "World's Best President."
2. Leonardo DiCaprio
I mean, he just won an Oscar so anything is possible.
3. Ashton Kutcher
Have we seen his speech at the Teen Choice Awards? If he can motivate a room full of teenagers, he's got my vote.
4. Efren Ramirez
He is a man of few words and knows how to run a convincing campaign, which is already more than I can say for Trump. #VoteForPedro
5. Rick Grimes
He's survived the zombie apocalypse which makes him automatically qualified for the Oval Office. If anything, he's overqualified.
6. Bill Nye
Come on, he's Bill Nye. How could you make Donald Trump the Commander In Chief before Bill Nye the Science Guy?
7. Oprah Winfrey
In all seriousness, she already runs the country, so why not make it official?
Everyone already worships Bey, and I think that Jay-Z would make a great "First Man." *Queen Bey for Commander In Chief 2k16*
9. Jimmy Fallon
Let's be real: he already portrays a better Trump than Trump can.
10. Kanye West
Everyone laughed at his decision to run for president in 2020, but think about it: if Kanye loves America as much as he loves Kanye...we are already off to a great start.