Misconceptions are easy to have when your views are narrowed and embedded into you due to influences. The LGBT community has grown drastically over the past few decades, and has had a strong representation in prominent cities and leadership positions worldwide. But, still there is a lack of respect and understanding for the community. Over the years, I have heard comments made that can be considered offensive towards the LGBT community, and people have used their beliefs, views, and lack of knowledge to justify their offensive comments.
Here are ten of the offensive comments and questions over the years that I have heard, and the responses that I have for these comments and questions:
1. “This is just a phase.”
A phase can be defined as a distinct period or stage in a process of change, or forming part of something's development. When people refer to a LGBT person’s journey of discovery as a phase, it is like they are saying that the person was heterosexual from the beginning, they are simply trying something out, and they will eventually return back to a heterosexual lifestyle. That is not the case. This time of discovery is being used to figure out who a person is attracted to and who they want to be in life. Discovering your sexuality is an experience that can be confusing and even scary at times. The people that go through this process need the support of family, friends, and allies and they do not need the negativity of someone that does not take the opportunity to understand who they are as a person.
2. “Why date a girl that looks like a boy? You might as well date a guy.”
Some lesbians like a woman that is more masculine, and often they will express their masculinity through clothing, hairstyles and mannerism that are often associated with men. Lesbians that like a masculine looking woman like that fact that she is a combination of the masculinity they are attracted to, but also a woman that they are physically and mentally attracted to. Overall, it does not take a man to display masculinity.
3. “A transgender person should use the bathroom based off of their biological gender.”
A transgender person has the full right to use the bathroom of the gender that they identify with. You can physically identify with the gender and even mentally identify with the gender you associate with. The right to use a public facility should not be restricted from free citizens.
4. “Why can’t I call a transgender man a she? She is a she, technically.”
A transgender man is not a she. He made the transition to be a man, and he is a man. A transgender man wants to be called a he, so we as human beings should have the courtesy to abide by their wishes and call them by their correct pronouns.
5. “Are you sure you’re a lesbian? You’re too pretty to be one.”
This comment insinuates that all lesbians are unattractive and that you cannot be one because you’re attractive. Stereotyping lesbians and shaming their looks is honestly a step back that we are making in our society, because they are being judged based off of superficial views and misguided ideas of what a certain group looks and acts like. Everyone has beauty, but not everyone takes the time to see everyone’s beauty.
6. “Who is the man in the relationship?”
All relationships do not have to consist of someone that fits the stereotypical "male" role and someone that fits the "female" role. At times, there may be someone in the relationship that possesses more feminine qualities and one that possesses more masculine qualities. But, at the end of the day, a relationship consists of two people that care about each other and have a physical and emotional connection with each other.
7. “Don’t you want children in the future?”
It is still possible for lesbian and gay couples to have a child through surrogates, adoption, In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) and many more developments that have been made over the years. Every child deserves a loving family whether it is a mother and father, mother and mother, or a father and father.
8. “Homosexuality is not natural.”
According to George Haskell’s article Nature’s Case for Same-Sex Marriage, there have been observations made in nature that display homosexuality within animals and plants. For example, before our ape relatives were sequestered in the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History cabinets, homosexual bonds were a natural part of their lives and these bonds are the same for our other relatives, the bonobos and the chimpanzees. Homosexual bonds are not something considered abnormal in nature, because it is something that is a natural occurrence.
9. “If you're bisexual, then does that mean you will eventually end up with a guy because that’s what supposed to happen?”
If someone is bisexual, then it means that they have an attraction to both men and men, and they have the possibility to fall in love with anyone rather it be a man or a woman. Whoever someone falls in love with is their business, and they should not be pressured into a heterosexual relationship just because society will accept it.
10. “Homosexuality is a sin. Therefore, I can’t accept or like someone that is homosexual.”
The Bible says that a lot of things are sins, like adultery, getting a divorce, having a premarital sex, and having a baby out of wedlock. But, the people that commit these sins try to walk around and act like homosexuality is the worst sin of all. It is pretty hypocritical to shame someone for the way they live their life when you sin as well. These people try to justify their hatred of homosexuals through a few lines in the Bible, but the Bible also says to love one another and to not discriminate against one another. Before you want to justify you hatred, think about the type of person it would make you. Would you be happy with that person?
When choosing your words, choose them wisely and know how to be socially considerate of all groups of people. If we took the time to understand and be educated on a community that has a vast culture, then we would be able to make sense of a culture that is full of wonderful people that are greatly contributing to our society.
