If there's one thing above all other things a military girlfriend dreads, its deployment. It isn't easy, no matter which way you spin it or however many you've powered through. Deployment is a hearty slap in the face, no, that's too gentle. It's a sucker-punch to the schnoz. Thank you, Uncle Sam. But the military girlfriend knows that other than feeling repeatedly beaten down (only to stand back up and take the beating again) deployment is an excellent test of love.
Deployment strips down your relationship until you're left with nothing but the bare bones of it, and you've got to make the best you can with what you've got. Semper Gumby, am I right? So this is what our first deployment has taught me about real love. And here to help me is TV's favorite couple: Ben and Leslie.
1. Real love is not always pretty.
Real love comes to you covered in dirt and looking like it hasn't slept in days, and probably hasn't, because it's been on a field op for the last two weeks. But when real love isn't perfect, you've got to learn to be forgiving. Because the dirt is just temporary.
2. You get really good at describing the moment you see each other again. And all the moments after that.
In the absence of real kisses, it helps to say "I'm gonna kiss you so hard," because at least they still know that you care. And even though you're miles apart, you still believe their lips are the cutest and most perfect lips. Besides, you're okay with waiting. Sort of.
3. Skype sessions can be so refreshing.
Those eyes. That voice. That butt. You haven't seen it in months but the wonderful advent of Skype gives you the gift of sight. Take advantage, my friend.
4. They can't tell you everything, but sometimes they can, and then you feel super proud.
You're learning knife throwing! You rode a camel? You're taking martial arts? I am so proud of you. Don't hide your pride, mama, you're dating Captain America.
5. Talking about him brings him closer to home.
You've got a couple of friends who've heard your stories about him a thousand times. But they don't care because they know you need to talk. Talk about him and all the stuff you used to do together. Reflecting on all your happy memories can make it feel like he's not so far away after all.
6. Sometimes you need to give each other a little boost.
Deployments are long and there's going to be a few times one or both of you feels like you really can't do this anymore. Reassure each other and remember it'll all be over soon.
7. Sometimes you fight. And it gets ugly.
You thought your fights when he was home were bad? Throw thousands of miles, a boatload (no pun intended) of stress and no real way to communicate in the mix and you've got yourself one ugly argument. But don't fret because you guys can make it through this. After all, you love each other. Just don't say anything you'll regret later.
8. You've planned your reunion since day one.
Nothing is stopping you from witnessing the moment that beautiful boot hits American soil again. You've got your dress and hair already picked out, and you've pictured your first kiss a thousand times by now. The thought of not going is ridiculous, and when someone asks you if you're planning on being there your response is something like this:
9. Sometimes you just gotta let it all out.
Deployment sucks. The military sucks. Distance sucks. It's okay to cry about it because you've been through a lot, and you'll probably never really be done crying about it. Just remember to stay hydrated.
10. He's still your best friend.
Deployment may try to throw a wrench in your friendship but nothing can stop you. You still share everything. You still crack each other up. And when you're reunited you're planning on partying like it's 1999.
At the end of the day always remember you're doing this for the love of your life. Nothing worth having comes easy, and deployments are the biggest testament to that. So put one foot in front of the other, because once you're back together again you'll be indestructible, inseparable, and ready to take on the world.
