I initially and unexpectedly came across Joanne the Scammer on Twitter when I saw this short video that launched her into stardom:
What she said at the end of the video really stuck with me and kept me laughing for days. Yes, Joanne. I do need to worry about my life and my career. However, little did I know I would begin being so invested in her scamming career. I know that sounds awful, but don't worry. Joanne the Scammer is simply a character created by comedian Branden Miller. Though she is just a character, people like me live vicariously through her and use her quotes in everyday life. Inspired by Joanne, here are 10 life lessons along with crude humor filled videos and tweets that will motivate us all.
1.Honesty is the best policy when filling out your resume.
In the past, I spent so much time making sure my resume made me sound like the perfect, well-rounded candidate for the job, only to never get hired. The employers probably knew that my resume was a scam and just wanted me to be honest like Joanne. I identify with all of her statements so well that I'll make sure to put them on my resume next time.
2. Stick around for the will.
In my eyes, and apparently Joanne's as well, the only reason to marry a man decades older than you is for their money. Do not let your search for a sugar daddy go to waste and stick around for all the money coming your way!
3. Networking and self-promotion is key.
Yes, even while you're attending a wedding, a scammer's work is never done. I am definitely a fan of self-promotion. If I click with someone within minutes of meeting them, I will tell them to follow my Instagram. These followers aren't going to come themselves.
4. Ugly is a disease.
I doubt that all of us have been as lucky as Joanne. For a lot of us, it took a while to recognize our self worth. However, since I have seen this video, I have been reborn and feel like I'm the best thing since sliced bread, which is how everyone should feel. You choose how other people perceive you by portraying confidence so feel free to tell the world how much of a beautiful queen you are.
5. Every element of your life improves when you begin doing what you love.
When you do what you love not only do you become happier, but you may also see improvements in things such as your skin! Who needs Neutrogena when your passions and hobbies bring you so much joy along with the blessing of clear skin? You're scamming yourself if you opt for skin care products instead of participating in hobbies such as lying in everyday life.
6. Do not be afraid to kick someone out.
When you have put in so much time and effort into your Caucasian home, you cannot tolerate someone acting a fool. Clearly, your home is only for the well-respected, upper class to be invited into. Hanging out with you in your home is a privilege that your guests must acknowledge.
7. "You don't compare when you don't compete."
Sometimes you just have to let people who clearly aren't on your level know that they're making a mistake by comparing themselves to you. While they may think they're above you, you'd be doing them a disservice if you allowed them to think that way.
8. Call the police before you have to give a "Caucasian uppercut."
If your friends are lucky, you will try to be kind and invite them into your home for some filet mignon. However, if your friends are greedy people, they will take advantage of your generosity and try to scam you. That is when you must not resort to violence, but instead call the authorities. If you have to lie to get your friend in more trouble, so be it.
9. When you get caught scamming, bail immediately.
Because Joanne has become so well known, doors have opened for her, and rightfully so. In this video, Joanne is gracing the hair company Her Imports with her sponsorship. Even though the company hooked up her up with a flawless wig, that doesn't mean she resorts to honest forms of payment. Follow Joanne's lead when you get caught scamming. Say a few, nonchalant words and leave quickly.
10. Make sure your victims believe your cover before you scam.
Beware. This tip is only for expert scammers. Only the bold ones will be able to successfully into a business such as Fashion Nova and claim to be someone in power as well as get all the Caucasians to move to the back! I don't know how she did it, but this only proves her commendable skill.
Following Joanne and learning from her via social media has only improved my life by making me smarter, pettier and more problematic. I hope that you have been able to laugh and even learn something by watching her iconic videos and reading her tweets. After you follow Joanne on social media (@iambranden on Instagram and @joanneprada on Twitter), bless someone in your life by sharing this article.
Happy scamming!
