I’m a scary movie junkie, which doesn’t mix well with my natural paranoia...anyhoo. For your Halloweentober pleasure, I bring you some horror films I’ve seen. Do note that most of the alternate titles jest about the movies, since some of these actually scared me and making fun of them is my coping mechanism.
1. Hellraiser (1987)
Alternate title: Thirsty Lady Kills People to Revive a Sexy Corpse
Hellraiser is the first on my list because I watched it a few days ago. I always knew about “that one scary character who has all the pins sticking out of his face” but never actually watched the film. Anyway, the premise of the story is that an estranged couple moves to the husband’s old family home. When the wife discovers something in the attic, horrible events occur. I didn’t find the film unnerving or scary, but I was thoroughly entertained throughout. It also has really interesting lore on its Wikipedia page!
2. The Conjuring (2013)
Alternate title: Dead Women are Bad Moms
The Conjuring is actually one of my favorite horror films. It focuses on a struggling family that moves into the middle of nowhere to start fresh, except the house holds a terrifying secret that they uncover over the course of the film. The ending was a little cheesy, but there are a huge number of jumping scares and unsettling moments before then. Between the excellent acting and the blood-curdling moments, your hair will definitely rise.
3. The Grudge (2004)
Alternate title: Do the Hokey Pokey
What makes The Grudge so terrifying is that it, along with The Ring, introduced herky-jerky movements as a new element to the horror genre. This story focuses on a cursed house, and how the lives of those who dare enter are changed for the worse. This is the only movie that has ever directly fueled my nightmares, what with her terrifying “Uhhhuhhhuhhhhhhhh…” noise and the sounds of her snapping bones. This is based on a Japanese film, which I’ve heard is even more terrifying, but I’m too much of a wuss to watch it.
4. The Babadook (2014)
Alternate title: I’m going to smack that child or so help me God
This movie is actually really interesting. It documents a mother and her son following the father’s untimely death, and how a frightening children’s book overtakes their lives. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get over the annoying tendencies of the kid. The only scary part of the movie was that I wanted to slap him to shut him up, although I consider myself a pacifist. This one’s also on Netflix, so score!
5. The Strangers (2008)
Alternate title: Don’t Open Your Door
There is one scene in The Strangers that I think was a bit overkill (Literally. Hee hee) but the rest was terrifying. A lot of horror movies rely on the supernatural or mystical, but this one was about deranged killers who prey on a couple in a remote home. This one has a few jump scares, but it’s most powerful frights come from the moments when you know something the main characters don’t know. It was incredibly suspenseful, real, and terrifying. You should watch it!
6. The Shining (1980)
Alternate title: “Here’s Boredom!!!”
Stephen King is a horror genius, but this movie was one of the most long-winded movies I’ve ever seen. I almost hoped everyone died so that way the movie would finally end and I could carry on with my life. The scares in the movie weren’t very shocking, and the attempts to build tension mostly left me confused/uninterested. This movie shows how isolation can lead a man to insanity, but I was left disappointed given its hype as a classic horror film.
7. Sinister (2012)
Alternate title: The End Ruins Everything
WHY. Why do horror films always end with such cheesy and stupid conclusions? I thought Sinister was great despite its so-so acting before the end. I was petrified, in fact. This movie showed a man who wanted to write a new bestseller, then how he finds a snuff film that sends his family down a spiral. I’m a sucker for movies that show demons and other evil entities in picture/camera format, so I was won over from the get-go. But still, why did they choose that ending?!
8. Rosemary’s Baby (1968)
Alternate title: Shoulda Taken Birth Control
Rosemary’s Baby…there’s not much I can say here except that I was bored to tears throughout this film. A couple gets a new place and begins to start a family, but strange things transpire when the neighbors start to act loony. I can see how this was terrifying back when it first aired, because people were more religious and also more trusting on their neighbors, but I never felt fully invested in this film. If you want to watch a classic horror film that won’t keep you up at night, this is the one I recommend.
9. Alien (1979)
Alternate title: No Hugs, Please
I love the Alien franchise. Not because it scares me in the way of a traditional horror film, but because they’re so entertaining and they come with so much backstory and lore. The first film follows a spaceship that responds to a distress signal only to discover – you guessed it – ALIENS!! You spend the entire movie with a pit of dread buried in your stomach because things are obviously whack and you want them all to live.
10. Poltergeist (1982)
Alternate title: No TV for you
The Poltergeist movies are fun and scary all at the same time thanks to their unique cast. The first movie chronicles a family’s bizarre experiences once they move to a new home. I resonate with the mom of the film, and as you watch, her fear becomes your fear. Another interesting aspect is how the movie is believed to be curse, given that many cast members have died since the series conclusion in Poltergeist 3. They made a remake of this movie, but I recommend that you watch the original for the best effect.
So there you have it! 10 potential movies to watch, and I have plenty others in mind. Feel free to let me know what spooktastic films you want to scream over this month!
