It seems like just yesterday; I was playing tether ball at recess with my best friends. Suddenly one day, I just woke up to be this anxiety ridden 18-year-old about to move away from my hometown with my boyfriend and with my head in the clouds picturing what my life is going to be like.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining. I'm happy with the way things are going now. It just freaks me out that one moment you are 10 and then the next you're signing a lease for your apartment without even noticing how fast time was going. I'm not going to lie; it's scary; terrifying in fact. You never know what's around the corner, and you can't help but think the worst. Thoughts like, "What if we break up? What if we don't have enough money to pay our bills?" enter your mind. When that happens, you go and call your mom and cry to her about how frustrating this all is, and then you start to cry even more because you remember that you are about 200 miles away from her. At that point, she'll start to tear up too, but will reassure you that everything will be OK, and she will express how happy she is for you.
A couple of days later, you'll wake up smiling not knowing why you were sad before. How can you be sad? You have your apartment! You have no rules and your free to eat whatever you want, whenever you want and roam around in your underwear. You are going to get out of bed and greet your boyfriend while his playing his favorite video game. Then you'll turn on the radio and blast your favorite songs and dance while you do the dishes, your boyfriend will probably laugh at you and say something like, "You're a dork," and you'll smile and continue to dance.
A couple of hours later, you'll decide maybe it's time to do some laundry. So you'll go into the room and start getting some clothes together. You are going to get overwhelmed and sit on your bedroom floor and cry a couple of times until you just give up and say, "I'll do it later."
There's going to be a lot of days where you think you should just go home because you're "too young" and "not ready." Those are the days where you have to be strong and keep yourself busy. Just remember that this is a good thing; you are living your life and experimenting new things.
Then about 25 years from now, you'll wake up on a Sunday morning next to your husband while he is still playing that video game he loves. You'll kiss him on the cheek and head down to make some coffee. When you get downstairs, you'll be greeted by you two kids covered in flour because they were trying to make you breakfast. You won't be mad; you'll simply laugh while you try to clean them up. At that time, you will smile and think of how happy you are that you didn't leave that little college town and go back home when you were eighteen.
The first year of college is rough. Just remember to call your parents every day and keep looking towards the future, all the frustration and tears will be worth it. I promise.
