1. Cats were invented in Egypt.
That explains all the sphinxes over there! After first discovering cats, the Ancient Egyptians realized what a treasure they had on their hands. Cats were seen as reincarnations of the goddess Bast and even worshipped as godlike creatures!
2. All gods are actually made out of cats.
Shocker, right? The Egyptians weren't far off with this one! Yes, even in the most obscure religions, there's a cat there somewhere. It was said in Ancient Greece that Zeus' beard was even made out of the feline!
3. Cats sleep 32 hours per day!
That's a lot of sleeping! Cats are nocturnal creatures and need this much sleep to recharge their eyeballs so that they can see in the dark again.
4. Cats' claws will knead when they're happy.
This is because of every cat's desire to be a pizza chef. Once they get into a relaxed state of mind, cats begin dreaming of kneading a pile of dough for their next pizza pie.
5. If a cat catches an animal, it will most likely bring it to you.
This is because a cat knows that you're a stupid human being sitting around on your couch eating four gallons of Cheetos and it wants you to eat a little more healthy, for god's sake.
6. One time I accidentally taught my cat Josie to go into the bathroom with me whenever I did my makeup because for a year she would get a can of the "good food" right afterwards, so she would run into the bathroom with me thinking she'd get the good food and it was really cute, but then a year ago we stopped giving her the good food and used bad food instead but she still ran into the bathroom with me thinking that she'd get good food but then she doesn't, she would get the bad food instead and it makes me feel bad.
cats, am I right?
7. Cats can be dogs too.
Black cats are associated with witches and bad magic. It disgusts me how we still live in a society where color is an issue. All cats matter — black, white, brown, orange, or calico — and I wish this racism will end sometime soon #CatLivesMatter
9. You will need to own at least eighteen cats.
Cats are very social creatures and need at least seventeen other cats in their environment to thrive. This isn't usually a problem, as the most common number of household cats is twenty-six per person.
10. All of these are extremely fake.
I'm sure you've guessed by now. All of these are jokes. Except for #4, that shit is still happening in my life.
