Calling all my introverts … this article is for you. As a confessed introvert myself, I wanted to write something that speaks to the extroverts of the world and tells them our side of the story. I hope you all can relate to me on these.

In a world that expects constant communication and socialization, it’s obvious that our society favors the extroverted personality. I’ve noticed that, for some reason, the word “introvert” has a negative connotation in our society today, almost as if being introverted is something that needs to be fixed. Like introvert, as in the recluse kid who’s socially awkward and no fun to be around. 

Okay, okay… so I may be socially awkward at times, but that’s because I’m a goober and I suck at the social dance, but that’s totally not the point I’m trying to make here. Introverts are souls who choose quality over quantity and are selective in their friends, words and actions. Furthermore, introverts find security and the opportunity to recharge in solitude. Since when is that a bad thing?

So, in an effort to break the negative stigma of the coined label introvert, I’ve composed a list of ten confessions to give you all some insight into my mind and the average introvert's rationale. 

1. Small Talk = death. 

Being in large crowds energizes some people, but it just exhausts me. When I was a kid, I can’t tell you how many times I was told to stop being so shy and “get out there and mingle.” But I’m not shy. It’s just that mingling is a fate worse than death. Mingling = Small Talk, therefore Small Talk = death. 

And why exactly do I not like Small Talk? (a) Small Talk for me is uncomfortable. While simultaneously having a discussion with you, I am attempting to brainstorm new conversation topics for fear that we might run out of things to talk about. Keep in mind that Small Talk for outgoing people is not the same as Small Talk for introverts. (b) I hate shallow conversation, which is what (I feel) Small Talk is. I don’t care about the weather or what classes you’re taking, I genuinely want to learn more about you, and Small Talk just doesn’t have the capability to do that that. So if I ask you a deep, personal question, it’s only because I actually want to know more about you and connect with you on a deeper level. “So how about that weather we’ve been having lately?” Ugh. Can we not? 

2. Networking events (also) = death. 

Since joining a sorority, I’ve been through many-a-networking event. I intentionally joined a sorority to network and force myself to meet new people, which is something I would've never done on my own. I’ve come to the conclusion that although networking events are good for me, I hate them. I dread them. It’s like the yucky purple cough syrup you have to force yourself to drink in order to get better. I know that without networking events, I won’t meet new people or make more friends. I can’t help that I dislike networking events or that I find them exhausting, as I can only be cordial and entertaining for so long. Wait, there’s one planned for next week? I'll think about going after this glass of wine. 

3. I need you to make the first move. 

If you’re waiting for me to make the first move, then you better be prepared to wait a long time. I really want to come talk to you (believe me I do), but I can’t help but think of all the things that could go terribly wrong in the process of doing so. What if you don’t want to talk? What if I get tongue-tied and say something stupid? What if you don’t find me interesting? What if I have something in my teeth?  What if. What if. By the time I’ve psyched myself up enough to do it, the opportunity has passed. So make the first move and I promise you won’t regret it. I’d love to engage in conversation with you, it’s just the initial first step that’s hard for me to deal with. Note: this also applies to making the “first move” in kissing, hugging, and pretty much everything else that involves me stepping out of my comfort zone in regards to the opposite sex. Capeesh? 

4. I’m a pretty good judge of character. 

With all the talking you’re doing, I had the time to observe you and survey my surroundings. This gives me freedom to notice things like a faked smile or the fact that you’ve retold that same joke at least five times now. I’m analyzing your mannerisms and the way you interact with others, as well as with me. Oh, and don’t mind my "b*tchy resting face." I’m not angry, and I’m not judging you. I’m just quietly observing everyone and everything in the room, which means I’m a little preoccupied. My face is one of concentration, not of vanity or distaste. 

5. Call me a “party pooper” one more time… 

Even though I’ve embraced my introverted personality, you calling me “party pooper” or pointing out the fact that I’m the “actual definition” of an introvert is not constructive, as it’s still something I am insecure about. Yes, I know that I’m quiet and different from you, but you pointing it out to me only makes me hyper-focus on it more (well-intentioned or not). So there’s no need to ask me why I’m quiet or lecture me about how I need to break out of my shell; I’m introverted and I’m okay with it. “Oh you’re so quiet!” Nice observation, Captain Obvious.

6. I don’t like situations where conversation is expected … and then forced. 

Hey hairdresser lady, do we really have to talk the entire time? I know it’s expected and you’re just being cordial, but I’d be just as happy if we sat here in silence. Besides, I think we’ve run out of socially acceptable things to chit-chat about. I'm okay with the silence. 

7. If I can sit in silence with you and feel totally at ease, then we have something special. 

I think this actually applies to introverts and extroverts alike. I believe that the best kinds of relationships are those where the silence between two people is comfortable, and there’s no want or need to fill the quiet with empty conversation for the sake of avoiding awkwardness. If we have reached this level of easiness in quietude, it means that you’re pretty dang special to me, and that I feel very secure with you. 

8. Sometimes I just want to spend my Saturday nights with you and Netflix. 

Because social situations can be exhausting for me, I’d prefer to skip the rager-frat-party and just binge on Netflix with you (and maybe 2-3 other people) every once in a while. Is it too much to ask for your company, a large stuffed-crust pizza and copious amounts of Law and Order episodes? To clarify: I don’t want to be alone. In fact, I would rather bond with you while we sit on the couch in our sweatpants and indirectly learn more about the criminal justice system. 

9. I am not anti-social. 

Referring to #1 and #2, it’s true that I do not like Small Talk or networking events. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t love people. I actually really like people, honestly. As I’ve said before, I love connecting with people on a deeper level. What you need to understand is that I just need downtime after social encounters to recharge. Whether that downtime is alone or with a select few, I still need to decompress and organize my thoughts. 

10. It’s not uncommon that I will have more conversations in my head with myself than I will with other people in a day. 

I can spend hours mulling over a conversation that I’ve had with someone (especially if I feel unsettled about it), all within the confines of my mind. I express myself and respond to others in these times. For example, if I’ve been in an argument with you, I’ll later reflect on that conversation and think of witty comebacks, and kick myself for not thinking of them earlier and using them against you. Call me crazy, but this method of reflection is the way I vent and process my thoughts. And I love the fact that I’m introverted, it gets me into less trouble. The whole “think before you speak” thing is kind of my mantra. 

So there you have it, world. I hope this divulging of my inner, everyday thoughts has helped you gain a respect and deeper understanding of what goes on inside the mind of the average introvert. 

I'll leave you with this very educational video. Enjoy!