Ah show choir. Beautiful, chaotic, nerve-wracking show choir. After being in show choir for four years, I learned a few things. Some simple rules that I began mentally collecting forever and now I’d like to share them with you.

1. Always bring two of everything - I learned this very quickly. Bringing two of everything, ensures that you are always expecting the unexpected. I’ve seen dresses bust at the zipper (Hence I had two dresses in my bag at all times, but only because I stole an extra out of the costume closet. Sorry Mr. Mohler). I’ve seen jewelry break before the show and also during the costume changes. I have personally stuck my foot all the way through a pair of “industrial strength dance hose.” Also, I always knew there would be some freshman who had forgotten something and would come to me crying because they were afraid to get yelled at. I saved many a freshman in my day, which brings me to the next point.
2. Freshmen will never listen - It doesn’t matter how many times you say you are available to go over the choreography or how many times you workshop the make up styles or the amount of times you say do or don’t do this, Freshman will never listen. They always have to have things repeated. They always think they know the dance moves until they realize they don’t twenty minutes before you go on. They beg you to do their make up because they don’t know how even though you taught it a week earlier. I once did fifteen girls’ hair and make up on a dark bus at 5 AM in less than 30 minutes. It must have been some sort of record.
3. Someone will always hate you - Show choir is full of drama and girls who believe they should have every solo ever because they’ve been in choir the longest or they should be in the front row because they’re entitled as a senior. Long story short, you can be the best in the choir as a freshman. Your age doesn’t matter because your age doesn’t show on stage unless you allow it. Girls are petty and girls are mean. I once had a girl say awful things about me all the way through my performance as Elle Woods in Legally Blonde. Oddly enough, the girl was graduated but it just goes to show you that jealousy is an ugly thing. Don’t allow yourself to be consumed with jealousy. Someone may be better at singing or dancing or acting or whatever, but instead of allowing the green monster show his face, make yourself better by following their example. And if you’re the one getting talked about, it won’t stop. I wish I could say it would but that is just part of high school. The satisfying thing is that when you go to college you notice that those girls are stuck right where you left them and you have moved on.
4. Boys’ numbers can make or break a show - Everyone loves to watch boys sing and dance. That’s just how it is. Girls swoon as guys come out in silver suits singing the song Sharp Dressed Man. The boys’ number is my favorite part of the any show choir show. In fact, I find myself severely disappointed when boys’ numbers are bad. If the girls are screaming and whistling, you’ve done it right. So make sure the boys’ number is choreographically and vocally tight, and make sure the boys ham it up. The more the boys play to the audience the more the judges love it. Happier judges, bigger trophy.
5. It ain’t over til the Mezzo Soprano sings - I learned this from my own personal experience being a mezzo. I spent three out of four years in show choir being the big belty soloist at the end of the show. My job was to bring down the house to remind people that they had a good time. The boys’ number got them started and I was the cherry on top. This is the same with most show choirs. You can’t pull out your big guns too soon into the show because there is nothing to build to after that. You have to time it right so that the judges keep loving the choir. To this day our percussionist Mr. Harris talks about how much he loved playing during my solo my junior year because he got goose bumps and got to play as loud as he wanted because even the drums couldn’t out do the belter. Gotta love us mezzos.
6. Crying during the ballad will probably happen - I cried during a few ballads in show choir. Sometimes in practice, sometimes in competition. If I was in just the right mood, the emotions would creep up on me and I’d cry. I just got really into the ballads. That’s the only time when the choir is, for lack of a better word, naked. There is no dancing to distract from the vocals. It’s just your voices and your expressions. If you’re doing it right, you will feel it to the point of tears.
7. 3 AM will be an alarm on your phone a lot - Our competitions were almost always over two hours away and our show time was usually at 7:30 or 8. Factor in warm ups and that puts you at about 7. Factor in changing and you’re at 6:15. Factor in the drive and you’re back to 4:15 and that is when the bus is leaving, like rolling out of the parking lot. So I’d wake up at 3 AM and have my hari and make up done before getting on the bus so that I could do freshman hair and make up on the bus ride and never have to worry about myself.
8. Anytime you hear a song you’ve done in show choir, your body moves - I can’t hear the song “Get ready” without doing show choir moves. I still remember the choreography to “Freak Flag” and “Fireflies” from show choir camps of America before eighth grade. Some things just stay engraved in your soul for ever and show choir moves are no exception.
9. You can jimmy rig anything - Show choir competitions are full of pressure and time crunches. So when something goes wrong, you have to know how to improvise. I’ve fixed a broken earring with a paper clip. I’ve stapled a zipper together on a dress. I watched my director sew part of a garment bag into the back of a dress because the zipper was busted and the garment bag happened to be the same color as our dress. If you aren’t good under pressure, show choir is not the extra curricular for you.
10. Lastly, it’s all worth it - The moment you slayed the high note on a belt and the audience went wild. The moment you nailed the hard dance move you’ve been having nightmares about. The moment the choir pulls together in a cluster for the acapella clapping section of the show and the audience starts clapping with you. The moment where you hit the final note of the show and you get goose bumps. That is why you do it. You do it because of the music and the applause and the friendships you build. The drama, the freshmen, and the early mornings may seem awful but it’s all a part of the experience. I will never regret my show choir days and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t wish there was a such thing as college show choir.