Starting your freshman year generally means living with non-familial people for the very first time. A person you barely know is thrust upon you and you are expected to live with them harmoniously for nine months. This can end up going very well, or it could turn out horribly. My dorm experience turned out like a fairytale. My roommate was amazing, and she is now one of the greatest friends I have ever had. We had little – if any – issues, and our relationship made my first year of school even more unforgettable. Throughout my experience of living with another person, I came up with some “commandments” that could help you have a roommate situation that doesn’t make you cry tears of joy at the end of the year.
1. Thou shall be honest on any roommate matching network.
This one is a biggie. A lot of schools are putting their students through dating-like questionnaires to pair them with a roommate they are compatible with. Dear Lord above, be honest on these. Lying will most likely lead you to have to live, in a cramped space no less, with someone that really doesn’t work well with your living style. So for the love of God, just be honest.
2. Thou shall discuss rules for dealing with any and all issues BEFORE they arise.
Before you even get the chance to start having problems with your roommate, discuss what you will do when things start to go wrong. Create a contract or a set of guidelines that you can go back to in case things get out of hand. That way you wont have to sit there and wonder how to approach things that are bugging you.
3. Thou shall discuss problems as soon as they arise.
Do not stay quiet about things that are annoying you. That will only cause all of the anger to boil up inside you until you burst, which isn’t good for anyone. If you have a serious problem with your roommate situation, bring it up as soon as you can. That way the problem can get fixed in a cordial manner rather than if you would wait. That is not to say that you should be nit-picky. Don’t bring up problems about your roommate as a person, just the ones about your situation as roommates.
4. Thou shall have the utmost respect for you roommate’s academics.
College is about classes, and most people take them very seriously. If your roommate is trying to study in the room, be respectful of that. Ask if you can bring friends over. Ask if you can play music. Just be respectful of their study space and then in return, they will do the same for you. One thing that I found that worked well is my roommate and I exchanged schedules, so we knew when we would be in the room studying or not.
5. Thou shall not ignore thy roommate.
Be a good person. Don’t do it. Would you like to be ignored by the person you are living with? No? So don’t do that to them. Acknowledge their existence, and maybe even try to become friends with them. Those type of exchanges will make your roommate feel better about themselves and you, which will keep your relationship on the positive side of the spectrum.
6. Thou shall not involve yourself in your roommates personal life unless they involve you themselves.
You may not be best friends with your roommate, so they might not want you to comment or question any of their personal decisions. So don’t involve yourself unless they ask you to do so. On the same note, don’t talk about your roommate, their living habits, or their personal life with anyone. You are going to find things out about them simply because of proximity, and out of respect you need to keep them to yourselves.
7. Thou shall keep your space clean.
This is a no brainer. Just do it. It makes life a whole lot easier and it will make your roommate respect you even more.
8. Thou shall bear any cost or burden together.
Make sure you aren’t having your roommate spend more money or time than you on things you share. Try to keep it as even as possible. Set up a system where you alternate doing chores such as taking out the trash or sweeping the floor. Take turns buying paper towels or dish soap. It’s going to be impossible to be 100 percent even, but make an effort to be so you can avoid as much bad blood as possible.
9. Thou shall ask before using anything of your roommates.
Do not take anything without permission. Regardless of how kind or forgiving your roommate is, don’t do it. Just shoot them a text or ask them in advance, and then respect their answer. They may be the type of person who will say yes to anything and have the mentality of “what’s mine is yours,” but don’t bank on that. Asking permission before using any of their things will show them respect, which (being a common theme in this post) is absolutely one of the most important things.
10. Thou shall be open minded.
This one is pretty self explanatory. Go into your new living arrangement with an open and clear mind. Try not to have too many expectations, because most of the time they will not work out the way you planned. Be willing to get to know the person you will be sharing the space with and be open to trying different living styles. That way, you won't be disappointed if things don’t turn out exactly how you wanted them to. Living with a roommate for the first time is a very tedious situation. Little factors can turn it from a positive experience to a negative one. Doing these ten things could potentially make the relationship with your roommate one that causes you to be heartbroken at the thought of not living with them after that year. Or, it could just keep you from killing one another. Whatever floats your boat.
