In today's day and age, it seems like almost everyone is pressured into dating at one point or another ("Oh, you're such a pretty girl! Do you have a boyfriend?" The answer to that is, "Nope!") Secular culture constantly bombards us (guys included) with messages such as, "If you don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend, something is wrong with you!" Even Christians are affected by this way of the world, sometimes swimming in insecurity concerning physical appearance, talents, etc, even though we are supposed to look to Christ, our Redeemer, for strength and security -- not this world. But if we remind ourselves to be content, as God's Word teaches (Philippians 4:11-13), in all and every circumstance, we will find ourselves wanting less and less what others have and we do not. Here are ten benefits and ideas on finding contentment in being single:
1. Traveling and Exploration.
Even if you live in an apartment in a city, you can still explore. Get out, see the sights, go to somewhere you've never visited but have always wanted to. If you're like me and live in the middle of nowhere out in the country, go explore the nearby woods. Go for long walks and reflect on life and the deeper questions (and by deeper questions I don't mean, "Why is it I'm still single?") Go to your favorite place and bring a book with a plot summary that has nothing to do with romance. Once you're in that place, soak it all in.
2. Less Drama.
Let's be honest, most -- if not all -- relationships come with at least some drama. When you're single, there's less stress in your life and you'll have more time to focus on imperative things like schoolwork, work, friends, family and, most importantly, God. Which brings me to my third point...
3. Growing closer to God and general spiritual growth.
This is a BIG one. The apostle Paul actually wrote to the Corinthians in his first letter that singleness can actually help you to focus fully on God, since you'll have less distractions that way (1 Cor. 7: 34-35). This can fill the void in your heart tenfold, spending a little one-on-one with your Maker and Scripture and growing closer to Him, learning how to better yourself in His Image and how to better serve and love others. Loving God is of the utmost importance and nothing should take His place on our priority list. This was likely Paul's reasoning for advising those who are unmarried and single ("virgin") to remain so, unless God calls you to otherwise. I believe that this is, in fact, one of the main reasons God doesn't want ME dating yet — He wants me to grow more both spiritually and emotionally.
4. Sharpen your mind and learn as much as you can.
Learning can actually be fun, when you put your mind to it and if it's something of importance/interest to you. No one wants to be a couch potato that lies around 24/7 constantly chilling with Netflix. While Netflix is good once in a while, you shouldn't overdo it. And whatever you do, don't watch sappy love stories, if you do have to watch some Netflix. Write, read, play Sudoku or board games. Absorb information like a sponge, but be sure to sort out the good info from the bad. Ask the important questions, maybe even study apologetics. Get those juices flowing!
5. Work on achieving your Bucket List.
Whip out that sucker and see if there's anything at least somewhat affordable that you've always wanted to try but haven't gotten the chance to do it — at least until now! If you don't want to do it alone, call up some family members or friends and see if they'd like to tag along.
6. Treat yourself to an at-home spa day.
A hot bubble bath filled with a beautiful fragrance, a facial mask, a mani-pedi and relaxing music...all uninterrupted. What more could a girl ask for?!
7. Spend time with a family member or friend.
One of the biggest cures to loneliness in being single is making yourself spend time with others. Reach out to close friends, throw slumber bashes, hang out more often. If it's a family member, just take time to be together and do whatever it is you like doing together.
8. Volunteer or get involved in your local community or church.
Not only does this help combat loneliness, but you'll be making an active difference in someone's life — a positive difference. Pray and ask God to guide you to where others need you, and where He wants you to go.
9. Shopping.
Yes, you only have two arms to carry everything you buy, but let's be honest, ladies -- dragging a man into a store in which he has no desire to enter is such a, well, drag. (LOL.)
10. Try that hobby you've never gotten around to, or improve the hobbies and talents you already have.
Mine are writing, reading, gaming, watching Netflix, exercising, daydreaming, speaking Spanish, practicing Taekwondo, spending time with friends and occasionally family (when I see them) and spending time with God. Do I need a "bae" to do any of these things? Nope. I get full pleasure of doing them solo or with someone else whom I care about.
The key to these things is to not pin your self-worth on another person; you are valuable because you are loved by God and made in His Image. Don't ever forget that. Don't let another person (or secular society, especially!) dictate that for you. Ever.
And remember:
You are beautiful.
You are gifted.
You are wanted.
You are needed.
Most importantly...
You. Are. Loved.
