Zombie Apocalypse 101
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Zombie Apocalypse 101

It's 2016 and the world is getting weird....you never know. Better to be prepared than not at all (;

Zombie Apocalypse 101

So, just because the Zombie Apocalypse hasn’t happened yet that doesn’t mean it won’t! Fortunately, today is the day you’ll learn not only how to survive an apocalypse once the sh** hits the fan, but how you can start preparing immediately so that you’re ready when it does.

1. Of course we've all seen Zombieland, so this first tip is simple: work on your cardio! Wouldn't want to get eaten alive because we can't outrun a dead guy!

2. Surround your house with treadmills. They'll never be able to get you!

3. “Take car. Go to Mum’s. Kill Phil. Grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.”

4. Resort to a boat, pretty sure they can't swim.

5. Get a group together but use common sense. This isn’t a ‘Scooby-Doo’ mystery — you’re trying to stay alive. No matter how tempting it is, don't be Fred Jones. Never split up.

6. Have an apocalypse wardrobe!

Nothing fancy but earth-tone colors (to blend in), sh*tkicker boots (You never know when you’ll need to kick in a door, a zombie’s face or the butts of your crew), a bandanna (eh, why not?) and fingerless gloves(gotta pull a quick trigger!) Bang bang.

7. You need a pet, someone to keep you company and to keep watch while you snooze.

8. Learn basic parkour.

9. Gear up with weapons, plenty of ammo and back-up alternatives.

10. Prioritize, because we all know what is really important.

Which leads me to my next tip.

10. Prepare your food supply in advance.

11. Pretty basic but don't panic (unless you're at the disco).

12. Dress up as Michael Jackson and we all win in this situation!

13. You could go into hiding, but how much fun is that?

14. Quit playing Pokemon Go now. That way when all of this unfolds, you don't accidentally catch all the wild zombies.

15. Have reliable transportation.

16. Never forget a first-aid kit! If Homer can do it, you can too.

17. Never fall in love with them. This is not a movie. Once a zombie, always a zombie.

18. If you can't find a crew, every man for himself!

19. One word: Crossbow!

20. Binoculars (for the ones who think they're sneaky.)

21. Snag a CB Radio so you can try to find other survivors.

22. Stay away from hospitals! (Most likely, this is where it all started!)

23. Know your zombies!

24. Don't get bit.

But if that happens, what should you do? Pray? Chop off the infected limb? Do a double somersault into a backflip? Any of these are as good as the other because if you've allowed a zombie into your home or have been foolishly tricked into letting one bite you then you're going to die. And let's face it, you probably deserve to be turned into a smelly rotting corpse too. The only thing left to do is offer yourself up to another survivor as target practice.

25. Become a ninja, no just kidding. You better start training now.

Well, anyway, good luck.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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