It's currently 10:43 at night, and I'm sitting at my desk with tears in my eyes. My roommate and one of my best friends, Morgan, just came home from bid day as a proud member of the sorority, Alpha Delta Pi. She tells me how two of my other best friends, Laura and Ashlyn, also got into Alpha Delta Pi and as the words escape her mouth, I can tell she is beyond excited, though she may dumb it down because she knows it's farthest from what I want to hear about right now. That's when I actually start thinking, Who am I to keep her from sharing such big and joyful news? This is going to be one of the best memories of her college years and I hope not only her, but all of my friends embrace it and cherish it. I should be letting her talk my ear off about it, but instead she dulls down her joyfulness just so she can affirm to me that she will still always make time for me. She should not have to confirm this for me. I should know deep down that I can always count on my friends to make time for me even when they attempt new paths in their lives.
The thing is that I'm upset. I'm upset that I won't be a part of all the wonderful memories they will be making. I'm upset that they'll have other people to call when they are down. I'm upset that I may be forgotten and only remembered when we see each other once a week. It's just such an awful thing to think that they now have other friends that they want to hangout with. A new "family" to share all their excitement with.
People are probably reading this and thinking, "It's not a big deal. Why is she even whining about it?" It is a big deal because these girls are the girls that know me better than I know myself. They know all my faults, the things that drive me up the wall, all the crazy things I'm passionate about and my whole life story. We know everything about each other and I can't imagine where my life would be now if I didn't have them to guide me along. Now that we are doing our separate things, all I can picture is going to them on my worst day, but being brushed aside because they have some philanthropy project to tend to or meeting to attend. I'll be the first to admit that I detested the thought of leaving them behind to pursue my passions, but for us all to be happy in our lives, that's what needs to happen. I too need to meet new people and be welcoming to others.
When you grow up with the same small group of people, it's hard to go down separate paths and lead such different lives. You always expect to be stuck to one another's sides throughout high school and college, but that's not how it always works out.
When Morgan began telling me about the cheeriness of bid day, that's when I realized that it's okay to drift apart and do our own separate things. That's what becoming an adult and experiencing life is all about. Not all of us in our group of friends rushed. Not all of us live close by each other anymore. One thing is for sure, though, wherever we may go in life, whether one of us moves away or gets into a relationship, we'll always have a friend in each other to depend on.
It's just that time in our lives to break away and become individuals. Take the bull by the horns and do the things that make us happy in life. Some of us were born to dedicate our time and love to our sorority sisters and charities. Others were born to ace our classes (MiKel) and be the girl with the most wit. Some, like myself, just want to explore, try new things and live life to the fullest without a care. Growing apart is hard, but sharing memories we've made along the way is also an amazing feeling.
We'll always have the memories we made in our hometown, the pictures that we hang in our rooms, the laughs when we are feeling down and the love from one another. I just hope that they too will miss me from time to time when they are out in this big world doing big things. They deserve everything and more because they are all such beautiful, intelligent and extraordinary young women with the world at their beckoning.
It is more than perfectly okay to feel a little worried and scared that things will change once you get out into the real world. If we were all meant to stick together, then society would be such a mundane thing to be part of and our existence on Earth would be boring and pointless. I'll admit that in high school I never thought doing things without my best friends would be this hard, but it is and it always will be. Acceptance is key to being happy, though. I'm happy that I'm finally accepting that I can do things without them constantly over my shoulder. We can't always stay together because that's not what life is all about.
So, to Ashlyn the Diva, Morgan the Worrier, Kaitlyn the Carefree Spirit, Marina the Talent, MiKel the Perfectionist, Laura the Stubborn "Lady" and Baylee the Fashionista, wherever you seven go in life, I will be one of your biggest fans, always there to cheer you on and pick you up when you fall. You're all going to be amazing at whatever you pursue because you are all such loving and beautiful people. I love you all with all my heart and so much more.
Thanks for loving me and accepting me, even at my most difficult times. I think Carol King said it best when she sang the ever-true words, "You've Got A Friend."
