Pain. We all feel it. We all run from it. We all try to avoid it, but no matter how hard we try to escape pain, we will all experience it. One thing I have learned, from observing myself and my environment, is that pain is inevitable. Pain seems to chase us, only if we spend our time running from it.
The source of pain varies. Other people can cause us pain, physically and mentally. When we feel pain, we tend to point fingers. He broke my heart. She lied to me. My mom broke my trust. My parents got divorced. She broke our promise. He said, she said. Whatever. Have you ever wondered that holding on to that pain, makes it extremely worse? Holding a grudge over someone, and cursing their existence because they caused you pain, only brings you down further. After you point the finger at someone else for too long, your finger should really be pointing back at you.
Some people ask, why forgive? Why forgive someone who harmed me and caused me tremendous amounts of pain? Well, just because you forgive someone, does not mean you have to accept them back into your life. Forgiveness and acceptance are two different things, that tend to become correlated when people begin to run from pain. The real question is, why would you carry around the burden of pain on your shoulders for so long? Without forgiveness, that pain is not going anywhere. It will not just disappear; it will not go away. It will build up, along with the pile of people who will continue to drag you down. Let me tell you, avoiding forgiveness and giving people a taste of their own medicine, is not strength. It is pure weakness.
People who run from pain are sometimes perceived as the strong. Although, people who run from pain are full of avoidance and pushing things under their rug. Running from your pain causes jealously, anger, and nasty revenge. To me, that is not strength. That is hiding from reality. If you want to spend your time giving people what you think they deserve, then spend some extra time giving yourself what you deserve. To be set free.
To me, strength is forgiveness. Strength is finding the love in your heart to forgive and feel the pain. Feel the pain that is put upon you, because it is there to help you grow and flourish into a stronger human being. Not a weaker one. For some, forgiveness is scary. Forgiveness is fearful. Opening up your heart to try to understand why someone hurt you, is terrifying. But, facing your fears will set you free. Letting go of your burdens and your grudges, will release you from that pain.
Instead of running from life, stand still. Be strong and feel the pain that is placed on your shoulders. Use it, and let yourself grow. Do not forgive for the sake of others, forgive for the sake of yourself. Remember, forgiveness is what sets you free.
