You feel worthless. You feel helpless. And you feel unloved.
None of those things are true, but after a breakup, there’s nothing left to feel. Especially when it’s with the same guy over and over and over again. Your mom told you to stop. Your friends told you to stop. Even your co-worker that is 30 years older than you told you to stop. But you were not going to listen until he proved you wrong again and again. He broke your heart and your mind again. You don’t want anyone to have the satisfaction of knowing they were right, so you hope he will change his mind within a couple days like he usually does. You can just pass it off like nothing even changed. So you do that, but in a couple weeks, it happens again. Why are you doing this to yourself? You love him? Oh yeah I did, too.
I have been there. It is miserable, but one day I woke up and realized I was worth more. It took me longer than I would ever care to admit.
You are worth way more than you give yourself credit for. You are worth more than he will ever realize, or when he finally does, you’ll be long gone and married with four kids and a dog living the life you always dreamed would be with him.
But it is not. It is not because he did not realize what he had. He didn’t see your beauty without makeup or the beauty of your brain. He didn’t see how happy you were just being with him. He did not see your love for Jesus and how important that was for your well-being and your soul. Instead, he tried to break all of those things that you held deep in your heart. He broke you without truly even realizing how bad it hurt you. That is how you know that he is not worth your hurt feelings when he does not value the things you value or you in general.
He is, however, teaching you something. He is teaching how to learn from mistakes. Regardless of how many times you go back to him, you are learning something each time. But those lessons aren’t going to be enough to measure your true worth.
So next time you think you want to go back to him, don’t. Remember he is going to hurt you again. He has not changed. He did not even remember how much you meant to him after three days. He got bored, and you are worth more.
