Everyone thinks that the worst pain is that of a heartbreak. However, I disagree. Heartbreak is closure. Heartbreak is the first step in moving on. Heartbreak hurts because love that was once there is not there anymore, and that hurts a lot, but I promise you that there are things that hurt so much more. What hurts more is listening to the one you love talk about the one he loves. What hurts more is convincing yourself that there’s a chance you’ll end up together, and looking at the time at 11:11 every night to wish that he’ll change his mind. Heartbreak hurts like hell, but what hurts even more is being broken by a fantasy. A work of fiction. What hurts more is being broken by a false hope that you created on your own, and having no one to blame but yourself. What hurts the most is the fact that you're always looking at that person, always. And for a while you might even think that they're looking back at you, but then reality hits you, and you realize that they aren't looking at you at all. It's like looking through a tinted window — you are both looking in the same direction, but only one of you was really looking at the other; only one of you noticed the other, and it hurts that that person will never know you're on the other side.The little things, the little moments and the little glances, they might not be so little to you. Who knew the one person you would do anything for could make you feel so worthless so quickly?
You've allowed yourself to be the book he puts down while he indulges in another fantasy, just waiting and hoping that he would open you back up again, and you two could pick up where you left off. It seems like you don't realize that instead of using a bookmark and setting you on his nightstand, he tosses you under his bed to gather dust. You've been trying to convince yourself that he cares, that he's probably been too busy to see that text you sent hours ago or that his phone died. You refuse to believe that maybe he just doesn't care about you, that maybe he doesn't want to see you or talk to you or that he's with someone else.
Sometimes you love someone so much that you don't see how much they hurt you, because you think that the pain is nothing compared to the little attention they pay to you. Sometimes you don't know what you deserve, because you don't know how much you're worth. You're always the one giving, you're always the one making others happy. You forget that sometimes you have to be selfish in order for others to appreciate you more. People may not treat you well, but that doesn’t mean you’re unlovable. Guys may choose another girl, but that doesn’t make you unworthy. People like different things, have different viewpoints. Maybe things just didn’t add up. People may make you feel like a second choice, but that doesn’t mean you have to be one.
The sun loved the moon so much that he died every night to let her shine. Love isn't about making yourself less to let someone else feel more. If he loves you, you shouldn't feel less, you shouldn't feel not good enough, you shouldn't feel empty. You see, that’s the problem with putting other people first; you’ve taught them you come second, and until you change this, you will keep being everyone's back-up plan, you will keep being everyone's second choice. There has to come a point in your life when you have to say no more and do what needs to be done.There comes a day when you realize that you have to love yourself a little more. There comes a time when you have to remind yourself that he might be very dreamy, but he's not the sun. You are.
