I couldn’t help but share what I overheard in the bathroom in between two of my classes last week. There were two girls, my age, fixing their hair before making their “entrance” into the next class. The one turned to the other and said “Listen, *Jack* and I hooked up on Saturday night and he hasn’t even texted me back.” The other girl replied “Oh it’s okay, next weekend just get with someone else to make him jealous.”
Girls, we are worth more than that.
So many times in college we are given this stereotype that we think we have to live up to. You know the one I'm talking about; the one that involves being so drunk we don’t remember the next day, the one that says if we don’t give everything to a guy on the weekend we are seen as prude and weird. So what do we do? We do just that. Even if it means crying in our beds the next day, or having 50+ awkward moments in the caf before second semester, or drinking more and more often because we know if we remember what we did, we would hate ourselves for it. Trust me, I’ve struggled with it too.
But you know what? After a while, that gets exhausting. You spend more of your time getting ready in the morning than you do actually in class. You spend more money on alcohol or makeup than you do on groceries. You care more about what boys and other people think about you than what you think about yourself. And finally, I had enough.
I realized, this all stems from my fear of being alone, and wanting to feel loved. So many times I think “why does she have a boyfriend and I don’t?” we all do. In or out of relationships, we measure everyone else’s story and compare it to ours.Though it’s the way girls tend to behave as early as elementary school, there are ways we can overcome that. We don’t have to feel that way all the time.
Because let’s face it, do any two figures in the Bible have the same exact story? No.
We are not called to live the same life as someone else. We are called to be ourselves, to be the person God intended us to be. No two people meet their husbands at the same time, nor are two people always happy at the same time. Sure enough, someday we will all find who we are meant to be with. When we feel alone, it might be because we are only looking at half of the story. Sure, I am not dating anyone right now, but then I stop and think: would I even want to date anyone I know right now? If so, do they interact with on a daily basis exemplify Christ in the way I know to be true? Why would I want to waste my time on someone who is not made for me?
We were made for so much more than this earthly world, and sometimes that means we were made for so much more than earthly men and women around us.
We have a God that loves us unconditionally, and at this point in my life, there I have to realize that there are so many more ways to feel wanted. Feel wanted through your friends, when you are all laughing on your dorm room floor. Feel wanted by your family, when they give you one too many hugs when you see them. Feel wanted by strangers, when you pass on a smile, or pay it forward and make someone’s day. Most importantly, feel wanted by God, because he wants you. Every day, minute, and second he desires us. Turn your mind and thoughts toward Him, for he promises to give us the desires of our hearts.We struggle most when we put timing into our hands, not His hands.
So forget about the boy that won’t text you back, forget about the girls who only want to talk gossip, forget about the friends who pressure you to do things, and please, forget about the people who tell you to act a certain way, for we are women who are loved by God, and that gives the greatest feeling of all.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” – Proverbs 37:4
