Being the token black friend is quiet the journey. Between the curious questions and eye-rolling jokes, it feels like you may be the only one going through this but I promise you're not. This one is for all the token black friends just trying to make it through their friend group.
1. You're Usually The Only Black One At Gatherings
When you and your friends decide to get together it's always a fun time but there always seems to be something off in the group, you're the only minority. While in hindsight this isn't necessarily a terrible thing, there is comfort in numbers especially when those heated topics come up like police brutality or black culture appropriation.
2. Uncomfortable Black Jokes That Aren't Funny
During those oh-so-joyous friendly gatherings there's usually one or two "black jokes" you'll encounter. The first could be in the stereotype category i.e. jokes about Kool-aid, Fried Chicken, Watermelon, or "typical" black girl/boy names. The second category could be the "trying-too-hard-to-relate-to-you" category i.e. they got a tan so now they're darker than you, their hair is puffy today so they have an afro like you. As the token black friend you just awkwardly laugh off the slightly offensive jokes but on the inside you're definitely rolling your eyes at the tag lines you've heard hundreds of times.
3. Questions About Your Hair
This one mainly pertains to token black girls. To them, your hair is magical. Your hair can go days without a wash, go from short to long in hours, and feels like a cloud. All of these majestical things just seem to lure your friends into wanting to touch your hair and that is a big no-no. Everyone knows the biggest rule for T.B.Fs is never ever touch the hair. It has probably taken you hours of flat ironing and gelling those edges down so of course you have to protect it from curious hands.
4. "You Don't Act Like You're Black"
This statement has been said to T.B.Fs for centuries and it's never going to leave. Although you understand this statement is supposed to be some sort of "compliment," it is still blatantly offensive. Of course your friends don't mean harm when they say this but you have to let them know that acting black is nonexistent. Black people as a whole do not act a certain way or talk a certain way. By them saying this they're just feeding into the stereotypes pop culture presents them and as the T.B.F you must enlighten them.
5. The Unreasonable Expectation of Knowing Everything About Black Culture
It's great that your friends want to learn more about black culture and make sure they don't offend anyone but, just because you are their designated T.B.F, you do not know everything about black culture. Like with every remotely hip-hop song they ask you who it's by or asking about Kwanzaa. T.B.Fs are not some sort of personal tour guide in the museum that is black history/culture. Most of the time you're in the same boat as they are with the knowledge of these things.
6.The "N" Word
This one is a bit of a slippery slope and depends on the comfortability of the T.B.F's use of the word. Everyone knows the n word has a harsh history and since then the black community has turned that word into something else. Although your friends have heard you comfortably use it, there still is some sort of annoyance when they do. Just because you are their T.B.F doesn't mean you are their golden pass to allow them to use it. The "it's okay my best friend is black" statement doesn't actually make it okay to use it at all, despite popular belief. They are just trying to be relatable and comfortable but if it makes you uncomfortable definitely let them know.
7. Getting Salty When They Try To Bring In Another T.B.F.
It is wonderful they are trying to expand the group but you can't help but feed into the T.B.F archetype and become salty when they try to bring in another T.B.F. It's almost as if they are trying to replace you. Turn you in for a newer model. Although this is not actually the case, you still have the "this town isn't big enough for the both of us" mentality.
At the end of the day yes your friends will constantly do/say these things that can cross into the offensively annoying category, but in their innocent hearts they love you more than anything and you love them just as much. Keep on being the awesome T.B.F you are.
