You've been with these friends for years and throughout high school. You've been through thick and thin together, but now you're all in college and things have started to change. You guys don't see each other today, don't talk every day, and start to mature and become the people you want to be. You think you are friends and you'll still make it work and be friends like the good old days. While it's not a guarantee that old friends will change, but these are signs I noticed when my old friends became old memories.
1. You rarely talk to each other.
The only times you talk are on birthdays or holidays. You rarely ask how they're doing and you don't seem to miss the small talk you once had. It doesn't phase you. Remember how you'd hate it when they were absent in class and you'd be so angry that they missed the class you two had together in high school? Now, you're lucky if you get a "Miss you!" text every once in a while, if that.
2. You are too busy.
Believe it or not, this is a huge sign. When you guys are caught up in your own lives, its hard to make time to see each other. It may seem as if your or your friend is choosing their college friends and college life over you, but you become so involved it truly becomes hard to balance the two.
3. You both start to mature.
You start to realize the person you want to be and you begin to accept it. Coming from personal experience, this is a big test of your friendship. Your friends will either support you or they will reject you. They make you feel as if you're in the wrong and that you have to apologize for being the person you want to be. This is one of the biggest eye openers that your friends aren't your friends anymore.
4. You meet new people.
You start turning into the person you want to be so naturally you meet people who are similar to you. You begin to feel at home with your new friends, but your old friends don't like it and disapprove. If they're that upset with your decision, they may even give you the ultimatum of choosing between the new and the old. This was the thing that really made me realize how my old friends weren't my friends anymore.
5. You're the only one putting in the effort.
When you start to feel like your friendships are a one-way street, that's when you know it's time to let go. If you keep trying to make time to see them, but they keep rejecting you and making up excuses, then it's time for you to move on. Friendship, whether new or old, should not be a highway and a bicycle path; it has to be a two-way street. If you have to hound them to talk to you, then it's clear that they've moved on. It's time for you to stop living in the past and start moving on with your life.
If you read this and realize that this relates to you, then here's our silver lining; everything happens for a reason. You're meant to be where you are, meet the people you've met, and lose the friends you lose. Do not look at your old friendships with hate, but instead view them as a lesson you were meant to learn.
