As I go through college, I realize that the most important relationship to keep strong is my relationship with my mom. Living on my “own” for 9 months out of the year and returning home for a few will place some obvious stresses on the relationship, but I’ve found that my mom will always be my most relentless ally and the person most willing to help me regardless of the situation.

For anyone going through a similar experience as me, you probably find it difficult to return back to your family over the summer. After the first few weeks, the home cooked meals and laundry fairy no longer seem to outweigh the freedom of leaving on your own time and staying out past 2am without notice. Times like these can make you resent your mom.

I’ve been working on ways to circumvent disagreements with my mom in order to retain most of the freedom I have while at college and still live respectively under her roof. Although it’s still a work in progress, I find that it’s extremely liberating to discuss the situation with her. When I tell her exactly what I want to do and acknowledge too that I know my lifestyle is much different than what she’s used to so it must create some stress on her, we are able to talk openly. I’ve realized that telling my mom details about my life that I would usually leave out in the past, she is able to trust me more and allows me more freedoms than previously.

When it comes down to it, my mom would do almost anything to make sure that I’m happy. I’ve learned to keep in mind that, without a doubt, she’ll jump at any opportunity to help me be a better version of myself. Therefore, I feel I owe it to her to be upfront about my needs and details going on in my life. Then, we can go from there to work out ways to agree when we both have different plans for how things should play out.

Throughout our college experience we learn best of all that our moms can rise to any occasion. You mom is the only person that, if you insult, fight with, and hurt her she would still turn around and go to great lengths to make you sure you’re okay. I think the best way to show her appreciation for that is by keeping a good dialogue and getting on the same page about your relationship. If you’re like me, you’ll find that your once-seemingly-unreasonable or outdated mom has grown alongside you and wants to be your lifelong friend if you let her.