- Experiment with the bus system. Become increasingly anxious as the bus misses every single one of your possible stops. Realize that you don't know how public transportation works. Sit there as the bus leaves campus. Panic.
2. Take a walk on the fitness trail. Admire the grey clouds in the sky. Optimistically hope that it will not rain and leave your umbrella in the dorm. Be very wrong. Emerge from the forest wet and ashamed. Make eye contact with a car as it drives past.
3. Lure potential friends to your room by blasting Green Day. Be reprimanded by your RA. Remain calm as your roommate frantically tries to muffle the speaker under a stuffed animal.
4. Prepare a dinner of strawberry Poptarts. Realize you need a more balanced meal. Run to Publix 5 minutes before it closes. Buy hot sauce.
5. Take a stroll through campus at night with your roommate. Discover over-athletic shirtless dudes. Feel terribly unathletic. After your narrow escape, stumble upon a midnight dance cult. Be aggressively danced at. Confuse reality with that one weird Glee episode.
6. Attempt to ride the bus a second time. Also for the second time, forget it’s Florida, and leave the umbrella in your dorm room. Wait 25 minutes in the rain for the bus to arrive. Watch it mysteriously disappear from the schedule. Decide walking through a thunderstorm can't be that bad. Be cursed by wet socks.
7. Visit the botanical gardens. Frolic.
8. By informed by your roommate that she accidentally made 3 gallons of iced coffee, but only actually needed 1 gallon of iced coffee, so there is too much left over, and she absolutely must finish it before she leaves this weekend. Chug iced coffee. That is not enough. Plead the RA to finish it. Successfully avoid caffeine overdose.
9. Rediscover sims on your laptop. Play for a few minutes to escape reality. Wake up 48 hours later to 2 empty Red bulls and a concerned roommate. Wonder why Steve Rogers wants to WooHoo with the Grim Reaper.
10. Drag yourself and your roommate to the top of the parking garage to watch the sunset and live your indie dreams. Drink your 5th coffee of the day. Reflect on your first few weeks of college. Admire the grey clouds and rejoice in knowing that a whole semester of mistakes awaits you. Hear thunder and search for your umbrella. The one that you left in your dorm room. Again.
Student LifeSep 11, 2020
Your Incomplete Guide to Staying Sane on Campus
Especially useful for the forgetful and socially inept.