Is your friendship more work than its worth?

Just like romantic relationships, friendships can be just as toxic.

Having a friend only talk to you when they need something. For example, only texting or calling out of the blue if they need something from you and only that. You can go a long time without talking to your good friends, but if someone is strictly only reaching out when they need something… They do not value your friendship the way you do theirs.

Friendships do not require a lot of effort. Or at least they should not.

Some people do not realize that there is a world outside of their own. That all they do is talk about themselves or their own issues. Passive when you try and say something or just ignore it completely. You deserve you be heard as well. It’s give and take not you giving your all and them taking everything you have. If you’re trying to tell your friend about the accomplishments in your life and they tear you down or talk about themselves, you do not need that. Maybe they give you back handed compliments.

Moral of the story, if you do not feel good or right in a friendship; then it’s probably not a good friendship. Friends are there for moral support, celebrate the good, and shoulder to cry on when things go bad.

Also, friends are not therapists. Yes, it is good to vent to your friends, but it is important to remember that they are not licensed psychologists and it is not fair to treat someone that way. Maybe they do not tell you what you want to hear or they tell you about a similar situation that they had. Well that is completely normal. They are your friends which can mean multiple roles in a person’s life. However, full time counselor is not one of them.

Unfortunately, some people can become very attached and become jealous when you hang out with another friend. Which is ridiculous. You should not have to feel guilty for hanging out with other people and do not owe anyone anything. This is your life and you can decide who is a part of it.

Just because someone had a big impact on your life at one point does not mean that they are now or need to be. People and circumstances change, therefore so do the people in your life. There is nothing wrong with drifting apart. This is life, it happens, and it’s okay.

You do not have to completely cut off this person from your life. Odds are they may not even realize they’re doing it. But if nothing changes, you gave it your best and that is all that is required from you.