Recently, I read an article on what it means to be an introverted extrovert. To be honest, I never knew this was a real thing! People always talk about either being an introvert or an extrovert. According to society, being an introvert means that you just want to crawl into that cave you call a dorm and not talk to too many people, and being an extrovert means that you always want to go wild and be with big crowds. But… I am both!
Sometimes, I really enjoy being around a good group of people and dance my butt off, but other nights, I just want to enjoy my popcorn, bed, and a movie. Growing up, I thought that I was a bad friend to others by saying "no" to going out, but I've come to realize that I was being a bad friend to myself by forcing myself to hang out. And I have to admit, I've lost many "friends" due to the fact that I wouldn’t always want to go out and party, but that is OK! I know that my real friends are those that invite me to places, but don’t feel the need to pressure me to go out. An introverted extrovert just needs space sometimes, and likes the agency of deciding what to do without people gawking about how we never want to go out. So if this sounds like someone you know, here are three ways that you can be supportive of your introverted extrovert friend:
1. Even if we said no last night, ask if we want to go out tonight.
Honestly, sometimes introverted extroverts just like being able to make the decision to say yes or no. Maybe now we're ready to get all dressed up and live up the night with you. But you will never know if you don’t ask. Just respect whichever decision we do choose.
2. Please don’t be mad if we change our minds within an hour.
Sometimes introverted extroverts will text you out of the blue to hang out, but it might be within a matter of minutes that we change our mind. I know it may be frustrating (and sometimes misleading), but we really are sorry we change our minds like that. Sometimes it's anxiety. But, nevertheless, we still love you!
3. Last, don’t make us feel bad if we say "no."
I cannot stress this one enough! It's sometimes already hard enough to say no to a fun night out, but when we receive messages like "you suck" or "don’t be lame," it makes it significantly worse. Maybe you can just reply with, “Alright! Maybe tomorrow!”
Friends, we just want you to understand. We promise we still love you! And to all of the people that are introverted extroverts, keep doing you, boo! Don’t feel obliged to go anywhere just because you think you might lose a friend. Enjoy your popcorn and Netflix, or whatever—just do you!
