As beautiful as the world can be, we all know that it is not always a walk in the park. Life is a roller-coaster, sometimes with more downs than ups. We all have bad days, which is why it is important to know everyone is fighting their own internal battles. We all hide some aspects of ourselves inside; they say we all have three faces: the one we show others, the one we show family and close friends and the ones we keep to ourselves. There might even be a fourth face, which is one you keep hidden from yourself. We keep this face hidden with the little lies we tell ourselves, the facts our subconscious keeps deep down in the lost parts of your thoughts. You may think you have full control of what you think, but conscious thought are just the half of it.
Part of the thoughts you might hide from yourself is inner envy. Do you ever find yourself disliking someone for seemingly no reason? Or find yourself resenting someone no matter how hard you try? These thoughts may be hard to overcome because you don’t admit to yourself the true reason for them. Lies could be that you are not jealous or that they do something you don’t like, and the true source of the resentment is in the way they eat, talk or who they hang out with. Not to say these lies are bad, and they could help you overcome your envy. Even so, admitting that you have a problem is the first step to fixing it.
Sometimes we lie to ourselves about our inner battles. We think not acknowledging the demons makes them go away, or if we keep telling ourselves we are OK, or it’s all in our head, it will be. These lies are coping mechanisms, which can be good, but also very harmful to the recovery process. Nonverbal falsehoods keep us comfortable, but the scars left unseen tell us otherwise. The isolation and sleepless nights warn you of the truth. Other people may try to convince you that this face of you doesn’t exist, or you might think others will shun you if you told them, which leaves this fourth face in the depth of your mind.
A fourth face may be anger you did not know you had. When you can be irate and irritated for seemingly no reason. When you do not want to do anything, and your choices might not be good, because it’s controlled by anger. Commitments you made before seem too much to handle and everyone makes you mad. The best thing to keep in mind is that this face will pass, so do not cut any ties too soon before you know what you really want. Believe it or not you can control your faces, maybe not now or tomorrow, but when you want to change you will -- and nothing will stop you.
Never be ashamed of all of the faces you may hold inside of yourself. This is not to say you need to or should change. Perfection and confidence is held in cherishing and loving every part of yourself no matter what anyone else tells you. Being your own person is the only thing you have to do in life.
What is your fourth face?
