I am a human being. This entitles me to a few things: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. You know, basic rights. But one right we don't talk about very often is the right to take up space. I am also a young woman. And as a young woman, it is incredibly easy to find myself in situations in which my right to space is not granted.
Throughout history, women have been taught to take up as little room as possible. From the time we are little, we are taught to "sit like a lady," with our legs or ankles crossed and our knees pressed together. Contrary to what many guys think, these positions are not comfortable, but we feel obligated to fold our legs in such a way that we leave enough (or more than enough) space for the person who is sitting beside us.
Twice within the past week, I've encountered guys who just didn't think they had enough space. So they decided to take up not only theirs, but some of mine, as well. Both incidents occurred at events at my college during which the audience was seated in rows of chairs, which were placed fairly close together. In order for people not to bump into each other, we had to keep our legs together, and try to sit relatively still for the talks and performances.
However, both of these guys didn't seem to think that this inferred act of etiquette applied to them. While I was squeezing my limbs together to make room for those around me, they were spreading their legs completely, in a "V" shape. Not only this, but they shifted constantly between this position and an open leg-crossing position (in which their knees weren't touching, but one was held out to the side). Both of them even went so far as to put one of their arms on the back of my chair, simply to feel more comfortable. Despite my shifting slightly to show my annoyance, only one guy gave a half-hearted, polite apology after he accidentally nudged me (but not for the first time). They probably thought that their actions were innocuous; they were just finding a comfortable position. But to me, they were saying, "I own this space and some of yours, too."
In short, what I experienced was "manspreading," which, according to Oxford Dictionaries, is "The practice whereby a man, especially one traveling on public transportation, adopts a sitting position with his legs wide apart, in such a way as to encroach on an adjacent seat or seats." The practice has been widely scorned in recent years, especially on social media, and by those who take the New York City subway on a daily basis.
In December 2014, the New York Times ran an article about manspreading and the Metropolitan Transit Authority's attempt to stop the practice with a series of ads bearing the slogan, “Courtesy Counts: Manners Make a Better Ride.” Still, many manspreaders didn't view the ads seriously and were unapologetic about their taking a "comfortable" position.
What truly shocks me, though, is the sheer ignorance toward the discomfort of others shown by acting this way, especially in areas in which people are in such close quarters. Of course, it's comfortable, but doesn't it show a degree of selfishness to not consider that you are taking up someone else's potential seat or making someone else uncomfortable?
This attitude is especially apparent when on a college campus. Not only have I witnessed the same kind of manspreading during classes with a "conference" set up (in which everyone is sitting around one table), but I've also seen the same mentality while walking to class.
In January, the Huffington Post ran an article about the similar conflict of "manslamming," the result that labor organizer Beth Breslaw faced when, as an experiment, she decided to stop moving out of people's way on the street to allow other people to move out of her way. Typically, the people who ran into her (and did not acknowledge, or apologize for it) were men.
After hearing about this story, my friends and I started paying attention to our own patterns of walking which, sure enough, were moving out of the way of everyone who came towards us, especially guys. I've been trying in the past month to be more conscious of owning my own space and to stand my ground, but it's harder than it sounds. Part of the time, people, including guys, will move out of my way. But other times a guy comes so close to running into me that I have to sharply shift my body at the last second so that we don't collide, or rather, "manslam." It's shocking how ignorant people are, who move and do not move out of others' way. and how unaware they are of their patterns of movement.
The bottom line is this: I, as a person, as a woman, have a right to take up space. I have the right to comfort and the right to not be forced into a smaller space so that someone else can have more than their share.
To the manspreaders, the manslammers, the guys who take up other people's space: please take a step back and think about the person next to you. Recognize that those who surround you are people who deserve just as much comfort as you do. And, please, for the sake of all that is holy, close your legs.
