I want to start by saying this isn't an article about bashing relationships or people in relationships because I was just one of those people. This is about a realization that I recently had and I truly believe many people I know need to come to, so let's rewind for a second shall we?

Senior year of high school it seemed like everyone around me wanted to be in a relationship and I didn't understand it. I was looking forward to getting out of the tiny town I grew up in, meeting new people, and finding new adventures in life, so a relationship wasn't even in my mind. Of course, that's when my now ex boyfriend came along because isn't that always the way, and we started dating. We ended up graduating senior year still dating when family members would start saying to me "oh you've been together for awhile now" to which I would respond "yeah I guess so" because it kind of just happened out of nowhere. It was great and we went our separate ways to college but still kept our great relationship.

A year went by and I felt super proud of myself for being in a relationship for an entire year as if it was the highest accomplishment anyone could ever achieve. At the end of our freshman year of college I decided that the school I was at wasn't at all the right fit for me and transferred to a huge university, which he attends. So now we were into our sophomore year of college, at the same school, still dating. This seemed unbelievably convenient for me although I didn't end up there because of him despite what everyone I know thought. As the year went on we got to actually experience college together which was exciting and awesome because we didn't get to do that the year before but slowly I started having an uneasy feeling. Spending so much time with a person will truly put your relationship to the test and college started testing us big time.

I began to realize that all the reasons I had gotten into the relationship for, were now absent. We started to become frustrated with each other's personalities and started getting in more arguments than agreements. All the while I thought to myself that relationships require work and if I were to just give up on that so quickly then I would be considered a quitter. Finally the year ended and it was summertime and we started drifting. We weren't hanging out as much, we weren't talking as much, we weren't present in each other's lives as much and I hardly even noticed it until I went away on vacation and felt no further from him than I did at home two minutes away. That's when I came to the realization.

All this time I had been fighting so hard to make it work and in that moment I questioned "for what?". I'm only twenty years old and I was losing sleep, spending days frustrated, and giving up time with my friends for a relationship. It hit me that I was far more invested in the relationship than he was and it was time to let it go. Although I appreciate the time we had together I knew it was what I had to do for myself and even though it wasn't easy at all I managed.

Looking at it now, almost two months later, I wish I felt good enough about myself to do that sooner and I wish more people in my position could do the same thing. It's easier to stay in the relationship than it is to end it and make a major change in your life but being so young means there's no time for a sub par relationship. I know too many people that are in okay relationships but won't leave them because it just feels easier to keep everything the same. To all those people I say, be young and free now and fight for relationships later because at twenty years old, there's a whole lot more to life than just one person.