Trust me, growing up my older sister was my hero and the person I looked up to. We had a fairly normal relationship, until one day everything fell apart. Our relationship changed drastically. And then one day my sister wasn’t in my life at all. For the longest time I wasn’t okay with it. But as of today I can say that I am ok with it. I’m sure there is someone else out there that can relate to this type of relationship. Trust me, there are things that I wish I could tell my sister. Here’s a list of the top ten things I wish I could tell her.

1. I will always be your little sister

We might not talk ever again and we might not see each other again, but here we are. Trust me, I will always be your little sister. You’re stuck with me.

2. I might have forgiven you for the things you did. But trust me, I will never forget.

Honestly, I will never forget the things you’ve done and the words you’ve said. Those actions changed my life forever and not totally in good ways. And sometimes I’m not really sure if I have forgiven you or if I just tell myself that I have just so I don’t feel like a bad person.

3.You missed out on a lot and it's your fault.

Good lord is there stuff you’ve missed out on. Things that will never happen again. I hope you’re okay with that because I’m not.

4. You broke my heart worse than any guy ever will.

We were supposed to grow old together. Be those annoying sisters that were best friends. But the day you left you broke my heart. And that part of my heart has never healed.

5. I still check up on you.

Trust me I’ve Googled, Facebooked, Instagramed you a dozen times. Sometimes I find things and other times I don’t. But trust me, I’m always making sure you are okay.

6. I don’t hate you

Even with everything that has happened and everything that has changed I don’t hate you. I hate your actions but not you. I never could.

7. Thank you

Now who would have thought I would ever be saying thank you. But seriously, thank you. You made me grow up and become the person that I am today. To be completely honest, I don’t think I would be this person if it wasn’t for everything you put me through.

8. I’m not the person you left and never will be

You left a scared little girl and I am so far from that. I have learned so much about myself. I have learned so much about life in general. And I will never go back to that scared little girl, ever!

9. There’s times I don’t want you back in my life

I know that sounds really harsh. But I am going to be honest, most days I don’t want you in my life. I don’t want to hear from you and I don’t want to see you. And that’s because its easier for me that way. But then there are times that I long to have my sister back. Just to be able to talk to you and tell you how life is. But I am scared you’ll walk away again and I can promise you one thing, I will never let you hurt me like you did ever again.

10. I love you

I will always love you. You will always hold a spot in my heart. You will forever be my older sister. Please never forget that.

Now I know that my older sister will probably never read this, but these are the things I want her to know. If you have a relationship like mine, please know it’ll be okay. I miss my sister and, trust me, I love her dearly, but you don’t have to stand for being in relationships that aren’t good for you.