Dear one,

You put your whole heart and soul on the line for something, and it didn’t work out. Whether it was a relationship, a friend group, a job, or a housing situation, it hurts. You’re asking yourself all kinds of questions—why not me? Am I not good enough?

What is it about me that fails to fulfill all the requirements for this, and why do I feel like I’ve been left out in the cold? The truth is that although you’re in pain now, it won’t last forever. You are surrounded by people who love you (even if you don’t feel like it). Even though this didn’t work out for you, something will, and ultimately, you’ll look back on it and realize that this rejection made you stronger. The universe is saving you for something that’s going to be better than you ever imagined.

I want you to know that you’re not alone, and even though you don’t feel like it, you are good enough. Yes, this is painful, and it might even feel like the end of the world for you. That doesn’t mean that things will always hurt this much. Sometimes the best thing you can do is swallow your pain and try to focus on the good points of your situation.

You have friends that support you and a family that loves you, and you’re going to be okay. If you try hard enough and believe in yourself, nothing will hold you back—not even this. You’ll climb this mountain, and find yourself on the top looking down and remembering every step that brought you there. Put it in perspective: you’ll be better for it. A mantra I use is “You will survive this.”

One of the ways I deal with rejection and the swirling feelings that come with it is by making a playlist. I start with what I’m feeling and try to transition my music into the way I want to feel, which is usually more positive than before. Sometimes I post it on 8tracks, but this exercise is primarily to help me take myself to a better state of mind.

While it doesn’t fix what’s wrong, it may help you look at the situation and put it in perspective: Whatever happens, you will survive this. You’re going to be more than okay, you’re going to be happy because this happened for a reason. All this pain is going to turn you into a stronger person just like carbon becomes diamond under pressure.

Like the Rolling Stones said, “You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.” Rejection hurts badly, and it may feel like your world is coming apart at the seams. But there will be more chances for you, and this rejection will open doors to a better situation for you. No matter what, you will survive this, and you will thrive.

Love,

Em