To my Childhood best friend,

First off, thank you. Thank you for being there for me during the awkward years and for the times of me learning who I was. Thank you for being such a huge part of my life. We met each other when we were in daycare and became attached at each other’s hips quickly. I can remember every weekend you were either at my house or I was at yours. There were very few times that we weren’t together. In fact, one day, it's like we weren’t friends anymore; we became family.

I’ll never forget the day my parents told me that I was going to a different school for junior high. It seemed like the world was ending. How in the world were we supposed to go to different schools? But somehow we figured it out and made it work. Fast forward to being 15 and dramatic. Of course, we went to different high schools and thought our lives were ending since we wouldn’t be together. I honestly think this is when we started to grow apart. Our weekends started to become consumed with sports and hanging out with our new friends. But, yet again, we made it work and always made time for each other. To this day I honestly can’t remember ever really fighting. You were my sister, my best friend and my other half.

Then the best day ever came. My parents said you could move in after we graduated! It was the first step in our plan of being adults. You’d move in, we’d work, go to school and find our first place. Man, looking back on it, it's crazy to me how quickly that plan went up in flames. I’m not really sure where we went wrong. What turn took us down the path of no longer being friends. But here we are. We went separate ways pretty quick. You moved out and I moved on. I moved out of state and have started a new life. I have made new friends and have become a new person.

But there’s something I want you to know. I still think about you. I miss our times and, trust me, I miss you. It’s been at least 5 years since we’ve sat in the same room and talked. But there are still days that something happens, and you’re the first person I want to call. The sad thing is that I don’t even have a number to call you on. I still have your name in my phone with the number you had when we were in high school. There is so much that you’ve missed in my life and so much I’ve missed in yours. Sometimes I wonder if I could walk past you and not even recognize you.

I want you to know that I still care about you. There were a lot of things said when we stopped being friends, and I am sorry for that. But deep down I still care about you and love you like a sister. You could honestly call me tomorrow and tell me you needed me and I would be there. That might sound silly since it’s been 5 years, but that’s just how it is I guess.

I also want you to know, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I said and the hurt I caused. I’m truly sorry we went different ways. But honestly, I couldn’t get over the hurt you caused and the things you said. It was just easier to take the path of not being friends. And some days I’m sorry that’s the path we went down. But honestly, there are days that I am happy about it. It does make me sad that a 14-year-old friendship was demolished in a matter of minutes. And trust me, I know we both have our reasons, and some of those reasons we have never talked about. But 14 years just gone, that will always be crazy to me.

Lastly, I hope that you are doing well--that you are happy and living the life you wanted. I hope that you have achieved your dreams and are working towards new ones. I hope you are in a good place in life and every day is what you want. I want you to know that I don’t ever and have never wished ill will on you and that you will always hold a special place in my heart. I will continue to think about our memories--the good ones are sometimes what push me through. The bad ones remind me that I need to be treated better. But no matter what I still hold the memories in my heart.

I love you and always will,

Your childhood best friend